Time to get a little Weird.

"The person of the house gave a weird little laugh" ~Charles Dickens


"There is a weird power in a spoken word" ~Joseph Conrad

"The probability of meeting someone you know increases greatly when you are out with someone you do not want to be seen with." ~weird facts

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Weird Laws!

1-]- In England- Those wishing to use a television must apply for a license. ~ This would not be a problem for me.. I don't think I would bother to apply.. it is weird though.. the idea that they want you to fill out an application.. what kind of weird questions are on there.. I personally think this is some weird way for the government to make some extra money.. I mean it is really a weird concept.. I wonder if they have a TV usage inspector? Wouldn't it be weird to be charged for watching TV without a license...can't you just here big Willy the cell mate laugh when you tell him to leave you alone you were watching Television without a license

2-]- In Florida- If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. ~ How weird is this law? The last time I was in Florida it was filled with wrinkled old retired people.. Are they driving their elephants to the shopping mall where they do their mall walking exercises.. Another law designed to make money.. I say if some old geezer has brass enough to ride his elephant uptown.. let him tie it where ever he wants too... next thing you know they will want you to carry poop scoops and baggies for your elephant too.. On the other hand I might be weird enough to go to Florida some day and I would be ticked off if I couldn't find a parking space for elephants tied to all the parking meters.. would it be too weird if I squeezed in there between the elephant and the curb.. then they could pay for my parking..

3-]-In Louisiana-It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
~ OK how many times has this weird thing occurred? Did some weirdo have to prove he was the man by shooting the teller with the weird water pistol he just robbed her with.. I promise you that that weird thing would only happen to me once.. I would jump on that weirdo and kick his butt into the middle of next week.. he wouldn't want to rob any more banks with a water gun.. I am getting mad just thinking bout it.. where is that weirdo?.. I'll kick his but right now! Then I'll take him over to Miami and tie him right behind my elephant...
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Weird Questions!


1~] ~ Do you remember your first phone number? Have you called it recently?- This is weird and even weirder that I remember our old phone number from when I was a child.. it was 259-5677.. I called it tonight.. after I read the questions.. I got some weird old guy that kept saying I was Sheena.. and that I should quit playing.. I almost got weird right back and play along with him.. But then he started talking about weird stuff and I hung up on him.. I am glad I have a private number.. wouldn't it be weird for some old guy to start calling me all the time?

2~] ~We go to an ice cream shop for a dish of ice cream . You are buying and I say "surprise me"... what kind of ice cream am I going to get? ~This is weird because this very thing happened to me in New Mexico.. They called it gelato but it seemed like ice cream to me.. I told Anthony to surprise me.. and he brought me a small dish of something that looked like Strawberry Ice cream.. I tasted it and it was wonderful.. sweet and full of strawberries.. then the heat hit my tongue and I took a gulp of my hot coffee to cool it down.. my weird son had bought me strawberry habanero gelato.. I loved it.. every time we went there I ordered it again.. the first bite was weird because I wasn't expecting the heat.. But I actually love hot food and weird as it may sound hot ice cream is good! On the other hand.. I would never be weird and get that for you.. I'd get you vanilla if you didn't say what you wanted..

3~] ~ With Halloween on the way a bunch of us are going to spend the night at a reportedly haunted location, are you going with us?~ Who told you this place was haunted?..someone I know or just some weirdo?... is it a bridge or a rail road track with a weird story about flashing your lights and seeing a headless person? Those weird stories aren't real.. Is it a house with weird sounds and sparkling spirits that move around in the darkness? Sure I'll go.. I'm not afraid of boogers.. In fact for some weird reason ghosts like me.. they open and close doors at my house all the time.. they ring wind chimes that have no breeze anywhere around them.. Maybe with a weirdo like me around the boogers really will come out so that all you people can get a look at them too.. But don't blame me when you get the bejesus scared out of you.. You're gonna feel weird riding home with shyster in your pants.. ( My daddy rarely cursed.. shyster was his word..
I don't think you have to be very weird to know what it means..)

4~]~ Has anyone ever wrote your name in a phone booth to call for a good time? Was it you? ~ No One ever called me for a good time.. well, there was this one guy.. but that was so long ago I almost forget his name.. he was a weirdo anyway.. It is weird though that someone once wrote my oldest sisters name in a phone booth up town and guys started calling her saying weird stuff.. she being the Church choir director didn't even understand what they were saying at first.. then she got all upset and wrote mama a note telling her what the man had said.. mama was weird too and said that Sis should tell them to call her mama.. I bet that would have been a weird phone call for the poor guy.. My Mom would have told him off.. I did write my own name on a bathroom wall at the beach one time when I was about fourteen.. If I got any weird calls Mama or Daddy answered the phone and since I didn't get a whipping I'm gonna say no weirdo's called.. It was only later that I realized that in order to be called I should have written it in the men's room... Maybe I can still be weird and have Dave write it for me next time we go to the beach.. Maybe I'll be really weird and give them YOUR number?!

5-]~Have you ever gotten a wrong number.. sexual toned..phone call and ended up talking to the person for longer than 5 minutes before you confessed that they had the wrong number? ~What is this.. weird phone calling night? I guess you could say that tonight when I got weird and called my old number was a wrong number.. and he sure was getting frisky thinking I was Sheena.. He kept saying I should quit playing like I didn't know what he liked.. That was weird.. he wanted to know who was my Daddy.. and a few other weird things.. then he said when Sheena got home Daddy was gonna spank her for being naughty and pretending she wasn't her.. that was about ten minutes into the conversation.. so yea I reckon I have talked more than five minutes to a weirdo with a wrong number.. What really makes it weird.. is that I told him that was my phone number when I was a kid... I just wondered if someone had it today..
He immediately got all weird and wild and said.. "Sheena Daddy ain't gonna play no weird games now baby.. you know what I like... go on and say it to me baby.." Yea It was weird.. I won't ever be calling that number again.. it makes me feel weird and nasty just thinking about it..

That's all of the weird questions for tonight.. I feel kinda weird that there wasn't a real sexual question in this lot.. But they were all weird as always.. Have a great weird Wednesday!
Patsy

The Phone Call

Tonight I was doing my very best to get my supper dishes all washed up when My phone rang. I dried my hands and ran to the living room grabbed the phone and said "Hello!" The response I got was "Teeheehee" then a buzz as they hung up. I checked the number. It was a number that seemed familiar and yet not one that I really knew. It was listed as Unknown name but the number I knew from the first three digits to be a cell. Honestly I thought it was either a child playing with a parents phone or just a prank caller since they were giggling like crazy.

I went back to the kitchen and again began cleaning up. No sooner than I got my hands good and wet again than I heard the ring ring of the phone once more. I stopped what I was doing and came again to the phone answering with an annoyed Hellooo! This time I only got a half of a giggle and again the buzz. I looked on the box and it was again the same number. Now I was really annoyed. I looked at the number again and looked in my own cell phone to see if it was someone I knew.. Nope. That number wasn't in my phone. I was standing there trying to think of who it could be when It rang again.. this time I was ready. I was standing beside the table and I grabbed it on the first ring. "Do NOT hang up on me again!" I yelled into the receiver. Silence.. Not a sound could I here in return for my yell. "Now" I said taking a few deep breaths to calm myself down.. "Who is this?"
"Oh I can't tell you that" she answered with a giggle following her words.
"What number are you trying to call" I asked.
"Yours" she replied.

OK I'm now ready to choke this person who I am relatively sure is female and not very old. Not from the sound of things to me right then did she appear very bright. But Being the kindly; ( Hack hack) Wonderful; ( I'm choking myself here with these lies.) Grandmotherly ( OK so I am a grandma!) type of person that I am. I decided to play along with her for a minute or two.

"So now that you have me on the phone, Do you know my name?" I asked.
"Yea!" She said."Well then who am I? What is my name?" I asked.
"You know your name! I know you know your own name!" She answered.
Deciding to take a different tactic I said " And then do I know your Name?"
"Yea" she said "I think you do but I can't tell you who I am right now."
"OK" says I, "But I was busy so I'm hanging up now since we don't even know who each other are." I had really had enough and still had dishes to wash.
"No wait Miss Patsy" she said "I gotta ask you some stuff!"

OK Now we were getting somewhere. She does appear to know my name and since she's calling me Miss Patsy she is most likely a friend of one of my children. Or she is one of the children I kept in daycare. OK, She could still be anybody. But we have now established that she knows me.

I was just about to ask her what stuff she needed to ask me when she suddenly blurted out. " Does Cooper love me, I called him before but he said I was too young to call him and Now my baby daddy is gone and I was wondering if you think He might love me now that I'm a woman. I have a cute baby boy. 'Cept he cries all the time." I was really floored. Cooper is my son But hasn't lived here in a while now. He has been on the other side of the country since November training for a new Job there. And even though this young girl knew me... I was clueless as to who she was. I was pretty sure that he wasn't the Baby daddy as she called it so that was at least a worry off my mind.

So we talked for a while this woman child and I. I assured her that I didn't want to hurt her feelings but that If a boy didn't like her It was nothing wrong with her it was just that sometimes people didn't match like that. And that if a young man told her she was too young to be calling him it was probably because he was actually too old to date her.
"Oh" she said "so it don't mean I'm ugly or nothing like that? Cause I ain't fat since I had the baby."
"And how old are you?" I asked still trying to gather a clue as to who she was. "And have you ever been to my House?"
"I'm fourteen, and No Mam I ain't never been to your house but I know where you stay because I used to love your son. But he said I was too young to call him so I called somebody else and now I have this baby, he's cute and I love him, But
He.. " and as if the child knew she was talking about him I could hear him crying in the background.

I listened as she went to get her baby and cooed to him telling him she loved him and I sat here and held my phone and almost cried. I wanted to weep for her; fourteen and already a Mother. I wanted to weep for the baby I pray he will have everything he needs to grow up strong and wonderful Like my son who is not his Father. I am thankful that My son turned away this young woman who was not old enough to date him. I am thankful that he didn't take advantage of her youth and innocence. And I am sad even for the young man who left her to deal with all these things alone because he will miss so much. Babies are very special gifts.

Finally she returned to the phone and told me she had to hang up and feed her Boy. I asked her again to tell me her name and she refused. Saying that she was sorry to have bothered me. I asked her if there was anything I could do for her and she said That she had read my MYSPACE blog and that she had seen a poem I wrote for one of Cooper's friends and that she would like for me to write her one too. One that would let her know she was important she said. After I hung up from her I sobbed. I still don't know who she was. Maybe next time she calls she will tell me. I doubt that my son would know. Girls have been calling him since he was too young to even be interested in them. I used to fuss and tell him girls weren't supposed to call little boys. I often heard him tell girls that he was dating someone when he wasn't or tell the young ones not to call him again. But he was always kind about it. Always gentle with the girls feelings. He used to say he hated to hurt anyone. I told her to call me if she needed anything and she said she would. She giggled and said she might just call to talk and I told her she could. I did write her a poem. I have included it here as well.
Have a wonderful night!
Patsy


Young Mother

Oh Young Mother
You have barely learned
to live yourself and yet
I hear the great love
in your voice as you
calm your tiny son's fears.
You are his everything.
Love him freely and he will
return your wonderful love.
You are important to him as
he is to you. The love you share
will grow as the two of you grow.
Let your Love be your guide.
For Motherhood does not come
with age. Motherhood Comes with
the love we hold for a child!



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