"If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it - I might be writing in my dreams."
~ Danzae Pace
"Two phrases for you to see what you can do with Green sweater, and rocking chair." ~Anonymous
"If you need some more words...when you have time try these"... ~ Sunshine
~ computer, laugh, forty, April, late, Denver, sweet, children, weight
I love this first quote.. Sometimes I dream I am writing and I Jump from bed and try to remember what I was writing in my dream. I have started keeping a pen and paper next to my bed. Tonight I am sharing two more poems. The first is from the word prompts Green sweater and rocking chair sent to me anonymously. The second is from a word list by one of my most faithful readers, sunshine. I hope you enjoy these two poems. The first one is also acrostic. Reading down the edge, the first letters also have a message. Please enjoy! Have a great day!
Patsy
I Love You Daddy!
Daylight almost always found you
~ Bible in hand rocking by the fire.
Already you had done more than some
~ men do in a day and were about to leave for work.
Doing the work of two men Half your age
~ a factory slave for most of your life.
Daring to marry a young 'un they said wouldn't stay
~ staying together to raise eight. Praying us grown.
You left to soon you know. That Sunday before day
~ Bible at hand, Sitting in your chair. One Last I love you.
I wanted to tell you so many things.
~ I wanted to ask you more questions.
Longing for you. Sometimes I smell your cigar
~ and I feel that you are near.
One of the cool breezes I feel touch me.
~ If I turned would you be there?
Very Likely wearing that Dark green sweater
~ that Mama knitted and you wore so often.
Every day I think of you rocking
~ eyes sometimes closed but not asleep.
Yes, I know you loved every one of us.
~ your children, your brothers, sister, Wife.
One day, we are taught, that we will meet again
~ in Heaven where some circles will be broken.
Until then we miss you Daddy. Mama is lonely
~ and I just wanted to say Daddy I love you!
Written By: Patricia Sawyer
10-16-2008
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fainthearted
Fainthearted need not apply
I read from the want adds
I was wanting a change
A diversion, adventure.
Forty pounds over weight.
Sweet children all grown.
I couldn't even make me laugh.
Nothing but a baseball game
on the box across the room.
Another Lonely woman
sitting in front of the computer.
My home town lie of Denver.
The job I just don't have.
On here I can be anyone.
From anywhere. Any place.
I can even say my early is late.
I can be April or May or Lisa Marie.
Or another girl outside your gate.
Fainthearted?Oh no! Not I.
But don't expect an application
from this bored old gal.
Cause I ain't looking to be used,
abused, stolen from or die!
Written By: Patricia Sawyer
10-28-2008
Showing posts with label Baby daddy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baby daddy. Show all posts
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Under the Quilt
Love if you have it you don't need anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter what else you have. ~ J.M. Barrie~
While we may be of different faiths, we have a strong sense of faith, family, community. We hold the values of freedom and human rights very high and I think that those are all a part of a very strong quilt that binds us together. ~Robert Menendez~
My first memory of My Grandma is of her legs and feet. We would go to her big old house every Saturday night just before it got dark outside.Daddy and the Uncles would be outside doing things around the place. I was never quiet clear on the mysteries of what they did. I know they had pigeons out there because we could see them fly sometimes. I also know they had hunting dogs in big pens. Us kids weren't allowed to befriend the hunting dogs. Uncle Neal said it would mess them up. My Mom and Grandma and the aunts would gather around in the hot, wood heated, Kitchen and soon they would lower the frames from the ceiling and they would quilt. They Made a few quilts every year each of them sewing dainty little stitches as they sat and talked. No one in Our Family would be cold.
Us little kids would all be sent to play on the floor beneath the quilt where they could know where we were. There was no room for us to play anywhere else. Sometimes My cousins would be there and we might play Barbies or sometimes Go fish cards. Sheron even had a checker board and some drink bottle caps that we could play with when she was there. The Older children always gathered on the back porch. There were cousins of all ages too But you had to be what was considered a big kid to get out from under the watchful eyes of the women. By the time I was a big kid the gatherings had stopped but I'll always remember those wonderful days. The days when I was sent to play under the quilt!
I loved my cousins a lot. Sheron was my favorite. She still is in a lot of ways. She is just a tiny bit older than me. Not quiet a year But she was a lot of fun. I loved Playing under the quilt with Sheron. But Most of all I loved it when the cousins didn't come.
When The cousins didn't come I would lay quietly under the quilt tent by myself and listen to the grown ups talk. I couldn't see their mouths but I could see their feet. My Grandma would pat her foot up and down as she told some tidbit of rumor to my Mom. Sometimes if she was trying to make a strong argument for something she would even stomp her foot up and down. My Mom didn't move her feet too much. She mostly kept her feet crossed and still. But Every once in a while she would uncross her feet and slide them back and forth over the hardwood floors or raise and wiggle her toes. Aunt Rose had pink painted toe nails. Aunt Lucy always wore white socks. Aunt Frankie didn't quilt. She wore loafers and stood propped by the counter sometimes. But most of the time she would go outside with Her husband Emmett. Or on the porch and look at a magazine.
Grandma always wore the same thing on her feet. Plain brown slip-on shoes, over stockings that came just above her knee. She wore plain brown garters around those to hold them in the exact spot that she wanted them. I would watch her feet and listen to her tell the most wonderful stories. Sometimes I would imagine her feet dancing or running although I never saw her do either. She loved to walk and I walked with her many times. I would have liked to see her run though.
I learned so many things laying under the quilt surrounded by feet. I learned that the preachers widow was courting the school teacher when I was too little to care about courting. I learned that Babies take forty full moons to come long before I knew what a full moon was or where babies were coming from. I learned that homing pigeons could be trained to bring and carry important messages or secrets. And that wearing red to a wedding or a funeral meant bad luck to the wearer. I learned recipes for foods that I have never cooked and I learned that Women who love each other share a special bond. A bond that brings them to share their thoughts and opinions with each other without fear of shame or censure. Their words to each other have a flow that becomes over time almost poetic. And that their feet often keep time to the music that only their hearts can hear! Let your heart music Move your feet. If you have family or friends in your life share with them in a relaxed place. Be open with them. If you have children, let them learn form seeing you interact with your family and friends. Let them learn about what moves your feet and your heart.
Love Many! Trust a few! Harm None!
Have a great Day!
Patsy
While we may be of different faiths, we have a strong sense of faith, family, community. We hold the values of freedom and human rights very high and I think that those are all a part of a very strong quilt that binds us together. ~Robert Menendez~
My first memory of My Grandma is of her legs and feet. We would go to her big old house every Saturday night just before it got dark outside.Daddy and the Uncles would be outside doing things around the place. I was never quiet clear on the mysteries of what they did. I know they had pigeons out there because we could see them fly sometimes. I also know they had hunting dogs in big pens. Us kids weren't allowed to befriend the hunting dogs. Uncle Neal said it would mess them up. My Mom and Grandma and the aunts would gather around in the hot, wood heated, Kitchen and soon they would lower the frames from the ceiling and they would quilt. They Made a few quilts every year each of them sewing dainty little stitches as they sat and talked. No one in Our Family would be cold.
Us little kids would all be sent to play on the floor beneath the quilt where they could know where we were. There was no room for us to play anywhere else. Sometimes My cousins would be there and we might play Barbies or sometimes Go fish cards. Sheron even had a checker board and some drink bottle caps that we could play with when she was there. The Older children always gathered on the back porch. There were cousins of all ages too But you had to be what was considered a big kid to get out from under the watchful eyes of the women. By the time I was a big kid the gatherings had stopped but I'll always remember those wonderful days. The days when I was sent to play under the quilt!
I loved my cousins a lot. Sheron was my favorite. She still is in a lot of ways. She is just a tiny bit older than me. Not quiet a year But she was a lot of fun. I loved Playing under the quilt with Sheron. But Most of all I loved it when the cousins didn't come.
When The cousins didn't come I would lay quietly under the quilt tent by myself and listen to the grown ups talk. I couldn't see their mouths but I could see their feet. My Grandma would pat her foot up and down as she told some tidbit of rumor to my Mom. Sometimes if she was trying to make a strong argument for something she would even stomp her foot up and down. My Mom didn't move her feet too much. She mostly kept her feet crossed and still. But Every once in a while she would uncross her feet and slide them back and forth over the hardwood floors or raise and wiggle her toes. Aunt Rose had pink painted toe nails. Aunt Lucy always wore white socks. Aunt Frankie didn't quilt. She wore loafers and stood propped by the counter sometimes. But most of the time she would go outside with Her husband Emmett. Or on the porch and look at a magazine.
Grandma always wore the same thing on her feet. Plain brown slip-on shoes, over stockings that came just above her knee. She wore plain brown garters around those to hold them in the exact spot that she wanted them. I would watch her feet and listen to her tell the most wonderful stories. Sometimes I would imagine her feet dancing or running although I never saw her do either. She loved to walk and I walked with her many times. I would have liked to see her run though.
I learned so many things laying under the quilt surrounded by feet. I learned that the preachers widow was courting the school teacher when I was too little to care about courting. I learned that Babies take forty full moons to come long before I knew what a full moon was or where babies were coming from. I learned that homing pigeons could be trained to bring and carry important messages or secrets. And that wearing red to a wedding or a funeral meant bad luck to the wearer. I learned recipes for foods that I have never cooked and I learned that Women who love each other share a special bond. A bond that brings them to share their thoughts and opinions with each other without fear of shame or censure. Their words to each other have a flow that becomes over time almost poetic. And that their feet often keep time to the music that only their hearts can hear! Let your heart music Move your feet. If you have family or friends in your life share with them in a relaxed place. Be open with them. If you have children, let them learn form seeing you interact with your family and friends. Let them learn about what moves your feet and your heart.
Love Many! Trust a few! Harm None!
Have a great Day!
Patsy
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
The Phone Call
Tonight I was doing my very best to get my supper dishes all washed up when My phone rang. I dried my hands and ran to the living room grabbed the phone and said "Hello!" The response I got was "Teeheehee" then a buzz as they hung up. I checked the number. It was a number that seemed familiar and yet not one that I really knew. It was listed as Unknown name but the number I knew from the first three digits to be a cell. Honestly I thought it was either a child playing with a parents phone or just a prank caller since they were giggling like crazy.
I went back to the kitchen and again began cleaning up. No sooner than I got my hands good and wet again than I heard the ring ring of the phone once more. I stopped what I was doing and came again to the phone answering with an annoyed Hellooo! This time I only got a half of a giggle and again the buzz. I looked on the box and it was again the same number. Now I was really annoyed. I looked at the number again and looked in my own cell phone to see if it was someone I knew.. Nope. That number wasn't in my phone. I was standing there trying to think of who it could be when It rang again.. this time I was ready. I was standing beside the table and I grabbed it on the first ring. "Do NOT hang up on me again!" I yelled into the receiver. Silence.. Not a sound could I here in return for my yell. "Now" I said taking a few deep breaths to calm myself down.. "Who is this?"
"Oh I can't tell you that" she answered with a giggle following her words.
"What number are you trying to call" I asked.
"Yours" she replied.
OK I'm now ready to choke this person who I am relatively sure is female and not very old. Not from the sound of things to me right then did she appear very bright. But Being the kindly; ( Hack hack) Wonderful; ( I'm choking myself here with these lies.) Grandmotherly ( OK so I am a grandma!) type of person that I am. I decided to play along with her for a minute or two.
"So now that you have me on the phone, Do you know my name?" I asked.
"Yea!" She said."Well then who am I? What is my name?" I asked.
"You know your name! I know you know your own name!" She answered.
Deciding to take a different tactic I said " And then do I know your Name?"
"Yea" she said "I think you do but I can't tell you who I am right now."
"OK" says I, "But I was busy so I'm hanging up now since we don't even know who each other are." I had really had enough and still had dishes to wash.
"No wait Miss Patsy" she said "I gotta ask you some stuff!"
OK Now we were getting somewhere. She does appear to know my name and since she's calling me Miss Patsy she is most likely a friend of one of my children. Or she is one of the children I kept in daycare. OK, She could still be anybody. But we have now established that she knows me.
I was just about to ask her what stuff she needed to ask me when she suddenly blurted out. " Does Cooper love me, I called him before but he said I was too young to call him and Now my baby daddy is gone and I was wondering if you think He might love me now that I'm a woman. I have a cute baby boy. 'Cept he cries all the time." I was really floored. Cooper is my son But hasn't lived here in a while now. He has been on the other side of the country since November training for a new Job there. And even though this young girl knew me... I was clueless as to who she was. I was pretty sure that he wasn't the Baby daddy as she called it so that was at least a worry off my mind.
So we talked for a while this woman child and I. I assured her that I didn't want to hurt her feelings but that If a boy didn't like her It was nothing wrong with her it was just that sometimes people didn't match like that. And that if a young man told her she was too young to be calling him it was probably because he was actually too old to date her.
"Oh" she said "so it don't mean I'm ugly or nothing like that? Cause I ain't fat since I had the baby."
"And how old are you?" I asked still trying to gather a clue as to who she was. "And have you ever been to my House?"
"I'm fourteen, and No Mam I ain't never been to your house but I know where you stay because I used to love your son. But he said I was too young to call him so I called somebody else and now I have this baby, he's cute and I love him, But
He.. " and as if the child knew she was talking about him I could hear him crying in the background.
I listened as she went to get her baby and cooed to him telling him she loved him and I sat here and held my phone and almost cried. I wanted to weep for her; fourteen and already a Mother. I wanted to weep for the baby I pray he will have everything he needs to grow up strong and wonderful Like my son who is not his Father. I am thankful that My son turned away this young woman who was not old enough to date him. I am thankful that he didn't take advantage of her youth and innocence. And I am sad even for the young man who left her to deal with all these things alone because he will miss so much. Babies are very special gifts.
Finally she returned to the phone and told me she had to hang up and feed her Boy. I asked her again to tell me her name and she refused. Saying that she was sorry to have bothered me. I asked her if there was anything I could do for her and she said That she had read my MYSPACE blog and that she had seen a poem I wrote for one of Cooper's friends and that she would like for me to write her one too. One that would let her know she was important she said. After I hung up from her I sobbed. I still don't know who she was. Maybe next time she calls she will tell me. I doubt that my son would know. Girls have been calling him since he was too young to even be interested in them. I used to fuss and tell him girls weren't supposed to call little boys. I often heard him tell girls that he was dating someone when he wasn't or tell the young ones not to call him again. But he was always kind about it. Always gentle with the girls feelings. He used to say he hated to hurt anyone. I told her to call me if she needed anything and she said she would. She giggled and said she might just call to talk and I told her she could. I did write her a poem. I have included it here as well.
Have a wonderful night!
Patsy
Young Mother
Oh Young Mother
You have barely learned
to live yourself and yet
I hear the great love
in your voice as you
calm your tiny son's fears.
You are his everything.
Love him freely and he will
return your wonderful love.
You are important to him as
he is to you. The love you share
will grow as the two of you grow.
Let your Love be your guide.
For Motherhood does not come
with age. Motherhood Comes with
the love we hold for a child!
.
I went back to the kitchen and again began cleaning up. No sooner than I got my hands good and wet again than I heard the ring ring of the phone once more. I stopped what I was doing and came again to the phone answering with an annoyed Hellooo! This time I only got a half of a giggle and again the buzz. I looked on the box and it was again the same number. Now I was really annoyed. I looked at the number again and looked in my own cell phone to see if it was someone I knew.. Nope. That number wasn't in my phone. I was standing there trying to think of who it could be when It rang again.. this time I was ready. I was standing beside the table and I grabbed it on the first ring. "Do NOT hang up on me again!" I yelled into the receiver. Silence.. Not a sound could I here in return for my yell. "Now" I said taking a few deep breaths to calm myself down.. "Who is this?"
"Oh I can't tell you that" she answered with a giggle following her words.
"What number are you trying to call" I asked.
"Yours" she replied.
OK I'm now ready to choke this person who I am relatively sure is female and not very old. Not from the sound of things to me right then did she appear very bright. But Being the kindly; ( Hack hack) Wonderful; ( I'm choking myself here with these lies.) Grandmotherly ( OK so I am a grandma!) type of person that I am. I decided to play along with her for a minute or two.
"So now that you have me on the phone, Do you know my name?" I asked.
"Yea!" She said."Well then who am I? What is my name?" I asked.
"You know your name! I know you know your own name!" She answered.
Deciding to take a different tactic I said " And then do I know your Name?"
"Yea" she said "I think you do but I can't tell you who I am right now."
"OK" says I, "But I was busy so I'm hanging up now since we don't even know who each other are." I had really had enough and still had dishes to wash.
"No wait Miss Patsy" she said "I gotta ask you some stuff!"
OK Now we were getting somewhere. She does appear to know my name and since she's calling me Miss Patsy she is most likely a friend of one of my children. Or she is one of the children I kept in daycare. OK, She could still be anybody. But we have now established that she knows me.
I was just about to ask her what stuff she needed to ask me when she suddenly blurted out. " Does Cooper love me, I called him before but he said I was too young to call him and Now my baby daddy is gone and I was wondering if you think He might love me now that I'm a woman. I have a cute baby boy. 'Cept he cries all the time." I was really floored. Cooper is my son But hasn't lived here in a while now. He has been on the other side of the country since November training for a new Job there. And even though this young girl knew me... I was clueless as to who she was. I was pretty sure that he wasn't the Baby daddy as she called it so that was at least a worry off my mind.
So we talked for a while this woman child and I. I assured her that I didn't want to hurt her feelings but that If a boy didn't like her It was nothing wrong with her it was just that sometimes people didn't match like that. And that if a young man told her she was too young to be calling him it was probably because he was actually too old to date her.
"Oh" she said "so it don't mean I'm ugly or nothing like that? Cause I ain't fat since I had the baby."
"And how old are you?" I asked still trying to gather a clue as to who she was. "And have you ever been to my House?"
"I'm fourteen, and No Mam I ain't never been to your house but I know where you stay because I used to love your son. But he said I was too young to call him so I called somebody else and now I have this baby, he's cute and I love him, But
He.. " and as if the child knew she was talking about him I could hear him crying in the background.
I listened as she went to get her baby and cooed to him telling him she loved him and I sat here and held my phone and almost cried. I wanted to weep for her; fourteen and already a Mother. I wanted to weep for the baby I pray he will have everything he needs to grow up strong and wonderful Like my son who is not his Father. I am thankful that My son turned away this young woman who was not old enough to date him. I am thankful that he didn't take advantage of her youth and innocence. And I am sad even for the young man who left her to deal with all these things alone because he will miss so much. Babies are very special gifts.
Finally she returned to the phone and told me she had to hang up and feed her Boy. I asked her again to tell me her name and she refused. Saying that she was sorry to have bothered me. I asked her if there was anything I could do for her and she said That she had read my MYSPACE blog and that she had seen a poem I wrote for one of Cooper's friends and that she would like for me to write her one too. One that would let her know she was important she said. After I hung up from her I sobbed. I still don't know who she was. Maybe next time she calls she will tell me. I doubt that my son would know. Girls have been calling him since he was too young to even be interested in them. I used to fuss and tell him girls weren't supposed to call little boys. I often heard him tell girls that he was dating someone when he wasn't or tell the young ones not to call him again. But he was always kind about it. Always gentle with the girls feelings. He used to say he hated to hurt anyone. I told her to call me if she needed anything and she said she would. She giggled and said she might just call to talk and I told her she could. I did write her a poem. I have included it here as well.
Have a wonderful night!
Patsy
Young Mother
Oh Young Mother
You have barely learned
to live yourself and yet
I hear the great love
in your voice as you
calm your tiny son's fears.
You are his everything.
Love him freely and he will
return your wonderful love.
You are important to him as
he is to you. The love you share
will grow as the two of you grow.
Let your Love be your guide.
For Motherhood does not come
with age. Motherhood Comes with
the love we hold for a child!
.
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