I Survived the Week-End?!

“Wake up with a smile and go after life … live it, enjoy it, taste it, smell it, feel it”. ~ Joe Knapp

“The miracle is this – the more we share, the more we have”. ~Leonard Nimoy

"There is only one way ... to get anybody to do anything. And that is by making the other person want to do it." ~ Dale Carnegie

Wow It's Monday and I survived the long week-end with the visitors and the children and the friends and everyone.. I'm not even sure how I managed not to loose my temper even once... I wasn't drinking.. I didn't have a nerve pill... My tongue is still in one piece so I must not have had to bite that too much.... I had forgotten how loud people are.. Dave and I are very quiet.. I am almost always at home and when he is at work I am here alone.. Other than the few phone calls each day I am pretty much silent.. Well except when I read poetry aloud to see how a word sounds... or read from a story aloud to see if I need to change a word for a certain effect.. (Yes I know that sounds crazy.. I thought all of you already knew I was crazy?!) I do talk to the birds and chickens as I feed them.. I'll tell them no eggs means soup for supper.. Chicken Soup!!.. Sometimes they cluck and cackle as if they are talking back to me.. But all of my dogs barking and my chickens cackling together aren't as loud as a bunch of twenty year old men and three girlfriends...Two children.. and one more pair of adults...Friday night I wanted a cigarette and I haven't smoked in a long long time.. Thankfully everyone came and saw...and met.. and Saturday was pretty quiet.. Two young fellows came and helped Cooper pack.. Carly gathered things for the new puppy and got her own stuff ready for the trip home.. Dave grilled ...outside... taking Mason with him and I cooked the other things in the oven.. checking them now and then.. and sat down to write down a dream I had a week or so ago.. The writing sorta took over and wrote itself into a story.. a very short story though.. We all gathered around the table and had a wonderful meal together before the guys shoved off to Pursue a female of their own and Cooper and Carly finished the packing and loading of everything and finally around 8pm struck out for home.. <~~~~~~ >New Mexico... way across over there... 25 hours away.. as the crow flies....

I know this is not a usual type of thing for me.. I surely don't write dark stuff very often.. But sometimes I do.. This is one of those times.. Maybe you will enjoy it.. Maybe not.. Maybe you won't even catch on .. either way.. I am sharing it.. I am glad to have survived the week-end without blowing my top.. I am glad Cooper and Carly are home in New Mexico safe and sound.. I am glad my house is silent tonight except for the tapping of my toes and the keyboard keys..I am simply glad.. let me know if you enjoy the story or even if you don't.. I will welcome all comments.. I hope that today you too are Glad about something!..Have a great day!
Patsy


Forgive me Father...

The young Padre lathered his scratched and bruised knuckles.. The rusty red water swirled and slugged into the drain... He reached for the nail brush laying along the back of the old porcelain sink....Thirty nine times he would scrub his hands tonight.. One time for each of them that had gone away.. Mama had taught him to keep his hands clean... Mama had taught him many important things before she went away..

The blond news woman begged and pleaded from the tiny television in the bedroom behind him.. She was speaking on behalf of the family of a missing girl... Cynthia Louise some body... He had called her Diana.. He gave them all new names after they went away.. good clean names... Biblical names... The tiny television was balanced on the end of the bed.. He hated television but he liked to hear the pleas after another woman went away.. The bed was a small bed for a man of his size and age.. Hard.. with only a thin blanket and a worn and ragged pillow... There were no pictures on the walls.. The only adornment in the entire room was the big bible laying open on the oak dresser.. He had never liked fancy things.. Mama had told him fancy things were sinful...

Reaching for the snowy white towel the priest dried his hands and smothered the bruises with lotion.. There was no telling what germs those trashy women had on their bodies.. Diana had bit him and scratched him.. He didn't have time to even think of Mama this time... He had been proud of Mama when she went away.. Not one time did she scream or beg like some of the others had.. She had even looked him in the eye when he might have faltered and snarled at him to finish it!... There had been so many more since Mama....

He had been thirteen when Mama went away.. he hadn't known it was going to happen.. he hadn't planned for it to happen... Mama had just risen from his tiny bed and went to bath herself.. he had heard her singing hymns in the bathroom as she washed away the proof of their sins... The next thing he remembered mama was laying on the bathroom floor bleeding and he had been standing over her with blood dripping from his hands.. He would have left her there maimed but alive if not for her snarl.. "Don't be a girly boy! You finish what you started!" Three days later the police had shown up at their spotless house and finding him there alone and Mama no where to be found they had brought him here...

Hanging the towel to dry.. the Father glanced at his reflection from the small shaving mirror over the sink.. thirty eight years he had been here.. growing from a boy to a man.. a Priest...thirty eight women gone away.. all of them sinners.. they had confessed the vilest of sins to him.. Many of them seeming to almost enjoy the telling of their secrets.. sitting back in the darkness of the confessional as if he were a close friend who had shared in their wickedness... penance and absolution for the same wickedness over and over.. He chose carefully.. There was Ruth.... He had long since forgotten her real name.. guilty of adultery not once or even twice.. but seventy times.. He had freed her from her sins.. just as he had freed Mama and the others who had tried to seduce him and the other orphanage boys..and sometimes even one of the Priests here.... before he had become a priest himself just as soon as he possibly could.. No more hiding behind the confessional to hear whispered sins.. Now he sat in the comfort of the booth and listened carefully to the wicked confessors..

Sliding the television back into the dresser drawer the Padre smoothed his frock over his slim body and smiled at the small green light that flashed to let him know another sinner was waiting.. he wasn't in any hurry today.. he had a whole year to decide... slipping silently into the darkened closet he sat back and crossed his legs.. he could smell her perfume.. he was almost sure of who she was before he heard her speak... almost eighteen and the worry of her Parents..he had already forgotten her real name..

"Please say you'll Forgive me Father for I have sinned" .. she began... "and I haven't been to confession in at least fourteen days".. she added almost happily....."Ah yes!" he thought to himself with a sad smile.. twisting on his chair.. settling in for a long tale of daring misdeeds.... It was Miriam....

Written By: Patricia Sawyer
8-29-2009

It's Thursday! Today you get three!

"Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river." ~ Cordell Hull

"He who postpones the hour of living is like the rustic who waits for the river to run out before he crosses." ~ Horace, 65 - 8 BC

"In rivers, the water that you touch is the last of what has passed and the first of that which comes; so with present time." ~ Leonardo da Vinci

1:) ~ a thought~ a memory~~~ Happy Thursday! At least I hope today brought you happiness. It has been extremely hot here today. You know that sweltering kind of hot that makes you want to find a slow moving; deep; Icy cold river and jump in head first. Then after a loud squeal that says.." Man this water is cold!!!"... Just relax and float along with the current for a while until you cool off. You will need a few things to do this though.. an inner tube if you can't swim... something to drink.. a six pack of coke ties just fine to the inner tube... something to eat if you plan to stay very long or if you are bringing the young uns. You might want some towels too and in some cases even a change of clothes. It Pays to have at least one Gator watcher.. That is the guy that stands on the shore and watches to be sure no alligators come your way...

~Dave and used to take turns pulling Gator watching duty when the kids were little. We'd pack up the kids and the fishing poles and a lunch... That was usually some sandwiches and what ever we had to drink in the fridge.. we might have some cheese puffs and some home made cookies or even a pound cake to take along too. The guys would dig bait out by the barn while me and Jenny got the food together.. Her job was to empty all the ice trays into the big old cooler while I poured cool-aid into empty drink bottles... We'd make everyone a couple of sandwiches and pack up towels for everyone.. Emily would get cold and shiver till her teeth chattered so she also had to have dry clothes and a shirt with long sleeves..


Pulling in to Little Hell I always scanned the crowd. We knew most of the folks there. They had all been there since sometime the night before.. Some even stayed down there almost every week-end during the summer... they even left their tents up the whole week sometimes... Lots of times someone would offer us a meal down there... I ate the best catfish stew I ever tasted down there on the bank of little hell..

~ But back to where I scanned the crowd ~ I was always on the look out for someone that was just a little too drunk or maybe a tiny bit ticked off. I didn't want to see anyone get hurt.. I had kids with me... Me and Dave almost always had at least one kid along.. They all loved Little Hell.... We would pick us out a spot and set the cooler down.. I would set myself down with some crochet and take the first watch for Gators. Dave would swim out to tread water under the big tree.. He would wait there under that big old leaning tree treading water and standing ( or treading) Gator watch while our children joined in the long line waiting to take their turn on the rope... Cooper was always the first to go... he'd walk up the tree trunk as far out as he could and then reach way out with his skinny little arms and swing and sway out over the water hanging on for dear life.. sometimes he would make three swings over Dave before he would let go.. he was always way out in the river and Dave would swim out and meet him as Cooper swam to him.. Emily was next and she would yell for Dave on her way down.. It was almost as if she just jumped from the tree... she would let go of the rope and yell "DAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVE" as soon as her feet left the board nailed to the jumping off point! David would make a decent swing.. He didn't need Dave he told us once but we didn't listen and Dave was always there when he fell into the water.. Jenny would swing a few times and then come and sit by me.. I remember the day I realized she was growing up.. and yes... even away from me and her Daddy.... I think she was about thirteen then and so pretty....

I reckon it's the sweltering heat that makes one remember things like swimming in the river.. drinking from the flowing well there and not even caring if the icy water is clean.... I hope my children realize how lucky they were that we carried them to the river and that they had me watching for snakes and Gators and Dave there to catch them all as they fell... I realize that he and I were also Lucky to have them to share it with.. If not for them we might have been one of the ones people steered clear of.. the ones I looked for when I scanned the crowd.... The ones the Gators wouldn't eat... I am thankful for those times.. I might pack me up some cool-aid and a baloney sandwich and head down to the river any day now!

2:) a Haiku~ read carefully and think.. let me know what you think is going on in this haiku...
and No a Shepherd does not carry a WHITE CANE!

Summer Storm

white cane thump; thumping
he tries to outrun the rain~
I roll up my hose

written By: Patricia Sawyer
6-4-2009


3:) A Picture that I love!!!
























As I walked along behind Dave and His Only Aunt.... Aunt Ruth... I couldn't help but think how wonderfully Lucky I am to have a big family.. Dave hadn't seen Aunt Ruth in many many years and yet just look how alike they are.. Both with their hands shoved down in their pockets... walking in step.. talking quietly together as I tagged along behind them making secret pictures..

There ya go three things I have shared with you today.. three for Thursday! I hope you have enjoyed today's blog! I hope you had a great Thursday! Blessings to all!
Patsy