A Weird Question Wednesday?? For a Change...

"An open foe may prove a curse,
~ but a pretended friend is worse."

"Life is a jest; and all things show it.
~ I thought so once; and now I know it."

"Follow love and it will flee,
~ flee love and it will follow thee."

All from John Gay who was born on this day...
June 30, 1685

He wrote what were considered "fables" for children and savage belittling political satires that won him the support of friends with deep pockets as well as powerful enemies at court, depending on their political views...Gay is best remembered for his play THE BEGGAR'S OPERA..This story of highwaymen and corrupt "law-keepers" is still performed by theatrical groups world wide.. Though I thought the "fables" were weird and not really something I would have read to my own child.. I did find these quotes to be very truthful even for our time..

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~ I haven't done the weird question thing in a long time.. The place where all the weird questions came from.. suddenly disappeared from the Internet.. I think the last set of questions might have been more than even the most liberal of folks could handle.. There are of course many many places that offer weird questions for us to answer.. I have chosen a few to answer for you today.. Hopefully you will enjoy a laugh from either the questions.. my answers.. or both..

#1~ How many pieces of unopened mail are sitting wherever it is that you put your unopened mail?~ If a piece of mail is unimportant enough to me that I don't open it.. I take it straight to the shredder.. I guess with that thought in mind I could say that there are about a million pieces of unopened mail turning to soil enriching mulch in a big old tractor tire out in my bucket garden.. For some weird reason I don't save mail in piles of unopened litter..I might add though that one of the letters from a seed company must have had a seed sample inside since I now have flowers blooming in my Mail pile..

#2~ What’s your morning routine?~ How long does it take you to get ready for work or a day at home? ~ I'm not sure why this was listed as a weird question by the writers where I found it.. but because it seemed out of place where it was I dragged it here.. I do find it weird that anyone cares what "MY" morning routine is.. were you planning on copying me and doing the same things each day that I do?What if I did something weird like run across the yard and around the corner in my flip flops... ONLY MY FLIP FLOPS! Oh well here goes.. Wake up.. sit up.. take a swallow of water from the huge cup beside my bed.. look at Dave.. smile and hurry to the potty.. ( don't be weird.. you don't need details here!) Brush my hair and put it in a pony tail.. look down to see what I slept in.. shorts.. and a tee shirt.. way cool.. I smell the coffee .. The dogs are begging... pouring coffee and looking for flip flops.. My day is now officially started...

#3~ If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?~ Don't be weird.. the answer to this is simple.. if he has no shell he is neither naked nor homeless.. he is SOUP!

#4~ Have you ever tripped over thin air!? ~ As a matter of fact just this morning while doing my run naked flip flop routine.. I tripped over thin air and fell right on top of a naked.. homeless.. Turtle.. he smelled like soup..

#5~ Are you still hung over?~ I don't ever remember being hung over.. I have been on the verge of drunkenness a few times.. but I always felt great the next morning.. but then again I didn't spend the night in some weird spread-eagle.. with my head in the toilet position either...That would be bound to make you wake up feeling weird.. when you reach your limit.. I think it is just weird not to stop right there..

#6~ If you could “fast forward” through something in your life, would you? ~ As weird as this may sound I have to say I wouldn't fast forward through anything.. I think we learn from even our biggest trials and our greatest mistakes.. eventually we will move on to the next trial... unless we are just a weirdo.. I might fast forward some people who have touched my life though and get them out a lot quicker.. they know who they are.. I don't need to be weird and call them by name..

#7~ Would you ever fly in a glass bottom airplane?~ Please.. Do I look like a weird freak.. I barely fly in a good old.. closed up all around.. solid metal plane.. why would I want to be sitting on glass way up there in the sky above the clouds.. Looking down on this weird world that we call home.. Nah.. I'll pass..

#8~ Insane or sane!?~ I'm pretty sure you are insane.. OH!.. you meant me... that would depend on who you asked.. I think I'm sane.. but then if I was insane would I know that I was?

Would I even care... Wouldn't it be weird to wake up one day and realize that your whole life was some crazy insane psychotic episode.. Now see what you did.. I will worry about that weird possibility all day!

#9~ If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? ~ That's a good question and if I ever have a blind lover I will ask him.. or Maybe I'll just ask some random blind man.. I do have a sensible answer though if you want to hear it.. Lingerie is actually more for the wearer.. if you feel sexy you will be sexy.. or so "they " say.. besides satin and lace would feel good to the hands of the blindest man.. don't you think? OK this is getting weird..

#10~ Who is one person you should get rid of, but never will? ~ am I really allowed to get rid of someone?.. Get rid of.. as in show him/her the quick sand pit?.. Or as in cut out of my wonderful .. even if weird life forever?.. Never allowing them to be a part of me and my world again.. burying them under the pig pen in the back yard?.. feeding them a little at the time to the chickens?.. covering them with shreds of unopened mail as fertilizer for bright and beautiful blooms?.. As weird as this makes me sound I can't really think of anyone in particular.... Now.. would you like to buy some beach front property in Arizona?.. The list is too long and most of them don't really deserve forever banishment.. Most of them also have caused grief not to me personally.. but to someone I love.. If it was to me they would already be gone.. for some weird reason I am not allowed to banish folks from the lives of my family and friends.. I also think that if a person can't tell when I don't like them.. then they are both weird and stupid.. because I do in fact know where at least one quicksand pit is..

These are the weird questions for today.. I hope you enjoyed your visit to my blog.. and maybe even had a laugh while you were here.. Maybe you have a weird question you would like for me to answer.. If you do feel free to leave it in a comment.. I welcome comments.. Have a great Wednesday.. I hope it isn't too weird!

Patsy