Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Sometimes It's Easier Done than Said.

"Poets are like magicians, searching for magical phrases to pull rabbits out of people's souls."
~ Glade Byron Addams

"Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold." ~ Zelda Fitzgerald

"Blessings be with them, and eternal praise, Who gave us nobler loves, and nobler cares!- The Poets, who on earth have made us heirs Of truth and pure delight by heavenly lays."
~ William Wordsworth

Some days words wake me up from a sound sleep. Bouncing around jumping up and down.. Shouting Write me Down; Write me down!! Other days they hide deep in my heart and say "NO Not today" when I ask them to come out and play. What's a poet to do? On those days when words escape me, I usually try and coax them out by taking a walk through my pine trees. Sometimes they like the smell of pine and a few will peek out at me. They might even write a whole poem for me. But thankfully those days have been few and far between for me lately. I write something almost every single day. I don't always share what I write. Sometimes it is just personal thoughts and I feel they might be way too much information for someone else. You know the kids wouldn't like it if I wrote about Me and Dave and Love. I can hear them gagging even at the thought of such a posting. Other times I have written something that came from my heart and even though I may have loved it myself; Upon reading it over I have realized that someone who still lives in this world may not like it for one reason or the other. Those thoughts will stay with me till they can't hurt the feelings of anyone living. I don't want to hurt another by my words.

I often write from presented word lists or even a title. Sometimes I am right on the mark about what a person has felt as they wrote the words to me.. Other times I fear I am off by a mile. That is because words may have a different meaning to me and someone else. For instance, I recently mentioned a bent over tree in a poem. That tree really exists. My brother and sister knew what tree I meant and where it was. Others even e-mailed me to say they also knew of a bent over tree and where was my tree?! I think they wanted to see if I had been in their woods! One man sent me a private message to inform me that a tree could not grow bent over. It would, he said perish and die. Sadly I now inform him that he is wrong. It would be easier to show him a tree that lived and thrived bent over than to argue with him. I think it lived because we as kids ran up and down it so many times filling it's heart with laughter and also tears. Even after I was grown and had children I went to that safe haven to cry a few times. I bet that tree could coax words from me on even the darkest of days!

Sometimes I might touch a person and have words pour over me from their touch. Thankfully that also is rare or I would forever keep my hands in my pockets. I don't always understand the words that I feel when this happens. Recently I had a very special Niece to be hospitalized because her baby had decided that it was time. Needless to say, neither the doctors or even us thought it was time. I along with my Best friend decided to take a trip to see her. We hoped to cheer her up. We spent a few minutes with her but could see that she was tired. I hugged her as I got ready to leave the room and I felt almost as if words would burst from me. They were electrified. The main word I felt was Blessing. I didn't dare write anything in front of either her or My best friend, Sheri. I myself could see no Blessing in her situation. I just knew they would think me crazy as a bedbug if I wrote what I was thinking. I was half afrid for my sanity myself. I promised myself I wouldn't forget the words. I would write them down as soon as I had one single second by myself.

Sheri and I left the hospital and being hungry as we always are when we get the chance for a day out, we decided to stop at Ryans and eat before heading home. As soon as I sat down at the table and she was fixing her plate I scribbled on a Napkin the words to My poem for tonight. Then before she came back to the table I folded it and hid it away to protect myself from those who would have had me comitted for thinking about blessings at a time like we were having. I Have had time to think things over since this was written and I have come to understand that His early birth truly was a blessing. For his death was coming either way. By being born early he was a gift to us all for two weeks. He gave us as a family a common interest to pray about, pulling us together in that regard. He wrapped his tiny finger around his mother's finger for a second one day. The only chance she had to hold his hand. So tiny and yet so beautiful; so perfect. Heart and soul we all Prayed and hoped. Sadly, he was not to stay in this world. We were only blessed By Aiden for two weeks. But I personally thank God for the blessing of his life! Sometimes it's easier to count your blessings when they are good things. I do know how hard it is to understand. But I believe that all things work together for the Good that God intends for us all. I once told My Grandma that sometimes I didn't understand. and she replied." Lord, Child, you will do a whole heap better if you will just accept and count it ALL as blessings. There is no Understanding sometimes till long after you have accepted." Sometimes it's easier to just accept. Sometimes that's easier said than done. Other times it's easier to accept if you don't have to do a lot of talking about it too.. Those times it's easier done than said! Please continue to pray for the parents and families of all the tiny babies who barely visit our lives.! Blessings for only a moment in time! I hope you enjoy today's poem. Be thankful for all blessings that come your way. Be careful to count them every once in a while.
Have a great day!


Bound By a
Love Never ending.
Every sweet breath
Something special.
So exciting; So perfect.
I am Overjoyed.
Nothing prepared me for this.
God, I thank you for this Blessing!

Written By: Patricia Sawyer
(12-?- 2008) On a Napkin~
1-23-2009 final draft


Nikki said...

This poem is really beautiful...I could feel all the emotions u must hav felt while writing this...thank u very much for sharing it with us.

Manifestation said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Manifestation said...

Thank you Patsy,I like the meaningful quotes besides your smile that filled the flowers of happiness around the blog.Wish you n all Mom's around the world a Happy Mom's Day ahead.

Gifts to chennai|Gifts to India|Gifts to Bangalore

Sunshine said...

Tears filled my eyes as I read today's blog. This is a very personal post for you today. You will never know how much it means to me, but maybe you do and that is why you are so special.

Big Time said...

Thanks for making me understand why things happen the way they do sometimes. I was Blessed by you writings today. I love you! Reuben

clare_stjohns said...

Patsy, you have a way of touching those around you; how many times I have counted on you to keep me sane.

I have always felt a spiritual connection to you and find it odd yet comforting that you posted this today when I spent the morning visiting Aiden, Mandy & my parents graves... people who blessed my lives by being loved by those around them.

Anonymous said...

Aunt Patsy ~
Your poem was written on the 9th - Aiden was born early the next morning @ 2:54 am. I learned alot that day. I know that "stat" means within 5 minutes. I know that 17 doctors can fit into an operating room. I learned that I don't need my glasses to see a miracle, that a stranger holding my hand is comforting and that BLESSINGS come in many shapes and sizes. Aiden Christian Anthony was 1lb 10oz and 13 inches long. I know that Aiden was a blessing to me and to everyone that knew him. I can't tell you how or why - just that I know. God knew I wanted a son - He knew I have no patience and He blessed me with an opportunity that few people get - a miracle of my very own. Thank you for Aiden's poem. Thank you for everything. I love you!

Pblacksaw said...

Nikki~ thank you. this poem was very personal to me.

Manifestation. Thanks and thanks for stopping by.

Sunshine~ Thanks. I consider you a special friend. I appreciate your continued support with my blog.

Big time~ everything happens for a reason even when the reason isn't clear. When I touched Phoebe that day I had an image of the baby holding her finger. She later told me that he had. I love this poem. I consider Aiden' s poem. Thank you for coming by today! I love ya!

Clare~ it is odd that I posted this and you read it today when you had been "visiting" . Some times I am lead to post certain things on certain days. sometimes writing something then feeling that it isn't time to post it yet.. weird huh?? yea I know I am weird. Love you.

Phoebe~ You remain in my heart of hearts and in my prayers. I love you very much!Give the girls and Brian a hug from me!

Thanks to all who have read my blog.. Please come by again!