"Grown don't mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What's that suppose to mean? In my heart it don't mean a thing. "
~Toni Morrison, ~Beloved, 1987~
" Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials." ~Meryl Streep~
"The most important thing she’d learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one."
~Jill Churchill~
Motherhood Miles
I change the diapers
wash the pot
scrub the floors
dust "what-nots".
I kiss the "boo-boos"
scratch little backs
make the beds
Pack lunch sacks.
I patch the jeans
darn the socks
dry the tears
comb curly locks.
I drink tea
with teddy bears
put on their p.j.'s
and hear childish prayers.
The price might be sanity
paid in milky smiles
but there is NOTHING I would trade
for my motherhood miles!
Written By: Patricia Sawyer
4-12-1989
Today I have chosen quotes and a poem that fits my mood. I reckon I am missing them now that all the children are "grown" and gone. I try to offer advice sometimes but am quickly told they are grown. I am having a hard time learning "My Place" now that they are all adults. I now understand why My grandma said she had "got mad enough to spit" when my Aunt Lucy told her that she was grown. I hope and pray that I live long enough to hear a grandchild tell the same to my own Kids! I have felt like saying it to my own Mama; but I am smarter than that! She still has a stick somewhere I'm sure of it! And I'm too old to run. Besides she has been "grown" a whole lot longer than me and Just might know a little more than I do about life. Have a great Day! And remember grown don't mean much to your Mama!
Patsy
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Oh to be 30 Again.
"When you turn thirty, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like you parents." ~Blair Sabol ~
"After 30, a body has a mind of its own." ~ Bette Midler
"Everything I know I learned after I was thirty. " ~ Georges Clemenceau ~
Turning Thirty is a milestone we all dread for some obscure reason. Today My niece turns thirty. Ten days ago My oldest son turned thirty. I have been thinking about thirty for many days. I guess that with Anthony turning thirty I am beginning to feel old. I remember when I turned thirty. Wow I really am getting old!
I turned thirty on November 29th, 1989. Anthony was eleven years old and Cooper was fifteen months old and I was seven months along in the hardest of the three pregnancies. My then Husband was gone on a trip in his beloved eighteen wheeler and the three of us were at home in the trailer park. We lived in a tiny little trailer. You all know the kind I'm talking about. They are so cramped and small that you have to go outside to change your mind. I hated that trailer and that trailer park. I think about living there and some of the other places I have survived and I am so grateful for my home and my life now.
Anthony baked me a cake that day. It was chocolate with homemade raspberry jam for icing. He found a left-over candle and stuck it in the top. I think the candle was a number one. Saved from Coop's first cake. He also cooked supper for us that night as a gift to me. I had been at the neighbor's house visiting and letting Cooper run around with her son until dark. When I came home and smelled something cooking I began right away fussing. Anthony stepped out with my cake ~ dripping jam on the floor ~ and I simply cried as he sang HAPPY BIRTHDAY at the top of his young voice. He had also cooked Macaroni and cheese and hot dogs. But that cake with the jam dripping everywhere and the number one candle, shoved down into it's center, has always remained my best Birthday cake ever.
Would I go back to thirty? No way!! No how!! I don't envy the younger folks.. They still have so much to learn. At thirty they are really just beginning to figure things out. Phoebe and Anthony are smart. They most likely had it all figured out a long time ago. But things have a way of not always working out like we hoped. I know I thought I had life by the tail when I was thirty. Little did I know that my life was about to take some sharp turns. Many of them way beyond my control. Most of them at the time I felt were devastating. But for that one day~ in that one moment~ My world was perfect.
This year in just a few months now I will turn 49. Next year I will be half a hundred. Now y'all have to admit half a hundred sounds real, real old! So don't moan about being thirty. Enjoy it!
The night I turned thirty I danced with my children and ate hot dogs and Mac and cheese. We laughed and sang and got sticky with Raspberry jam. We sat on a tiny trailer porch and looked at the stars And that night as I Kissed my sons good-night I thanked God for giving me great kids and for letting me live to be as old as thirty!
Oh to be thirty again would mean I'd have to do it all again and I wouldn't choose that. But I will always cherish the memory of a young boy stepping proudly into the room as his changing voice squeaked and then rang out loudly with Happy Birthday. Holding tightly to his platter as his cake almost slipped from it's sweet bed of jam. That One candle Burning almost as bright as his eyes!
Cooper's baby hands clapping at the sight. My thirty~ My perfect night!
I have had many perfect nights in my life. I like to think that they will some day out weigh the not so perfect times. I don't even keep score any more of the good days and the bad days. That's something I quit back around the time I was thirty. After that I just survived the bad and enjoyed the good. And was thankful for both. Because what-ever doesn't kill you will only serve to make you stronger~ and I think I'm pretty strong!
Watch for blessings that may come your way. Enjoy your life what ever your age. Dance with your kids if you have them. Enjoy them and appreciate them. Be thankful for those perfect and the not so perfect moments. For every moment is a gift ~ every second special! And a chocolate cake with raspberry jam icing~ Perfect! Have a great day!
Patsy
"After 30, a body has a mind of its own." ~ Bette Midler
"Everything I know I learned after I was thirty. " ~ Georges Clemenceau ~
Turning Thirty is a milestone we all dread for some obscure reason. Today My niece turns thirty. Ten days ago My oldest son turned thirty. I have been thinking about thirty for many days. I guess that with Anthony turning thirty I am beginning to feel old. I remember when I turned thirty. Wow I really am getting old!
I turned thirty on November 29th, 1989. Anthony was eleven years old and Cooper was fifteen months old and I was seven months along in the hardest of the three pregnancies. My then Husband was gone on a trip in his beloved eighteen wheeler and the three of us were at home in the trailer park. We lived in a tiny little trailer. You all know the kind I'm talking about. They are so cramped and small that you have to go outside to change your mind. I hated that trailer and that trailer park. I think about living there and some of the other places I have survived and I am so grateful for my home and my life now.
Anthony baked me a cake that day. It was chocolate with homemade raspberry jam for icing. He found a left-over candle and stuck it in the top. I think the candle was a number one. Saved from Coop's first cake. He also cooked supper for us that night as a gift to me. I had been at the neighbor's house visiting and letting Cooper run around with her son until dark. When I came home and smelled something cooking I began right away fussing. Anthony stepped out with my cake ~ dripping jam on the floor ~ and I simply cried as he sang HAPPY BIRTHDAY at the top of his young voice. He had also cooked Macaroni and cheese and hot dogs. But that cake with the jam dripping everywhere and the number one candle, shoved down into it's center, has always remained my best Birthday cake ever.
Would I go back to thirty? No way!! No how!! I don't envy the younger folks.. They still have so much to learn. At thirty they are really just beginning to figure things out. Phoebe and Anthony are smart. They most likely had it all figured out a long time ago. But things have a way of not always working out like we hoped. I know I thought I had life by the tail when I was thirty. Little did I know that my life was about to take some sharp turns. Many of them way beyond my control. Most of them at the time I felt were devastating. But for that one day~ in that one moment~ My world was perfect.
This year in just a few months now I will turn 49. Next year I will be half a hundred. Now y'all have to admit half a hundred sounds real, real old! So don't moan about being thirty. Enjoy it!
The night I turned thirty I danced with my children and ate hot dogs and Mac and cheese. We laughed and sang and got sticky with Raspberry jam. We sat on a tiny trailer porch and looked at the stars And that night as I Kissed my sons good-night I thanked God for giving me great kids and for letting me live to be as old as thirty!
Oh to be thirty again would mean I'd have to do it all again and I wouldn't choose that. But I will always cherish the memory of a young boy stepping proudly into the room as his changing voice squeaked and then rang out loudly with Happy Birthday. Holding tightly to his platter as his cake almost slipped from it's sweet bed of jam. That One candle Burning almost as bright as his eyes!
Cooper's baby hands clapping at the sight. My thirty~ My perfect night!
I have had many perfect nights in my life. I like to think that they will some day out weigh the not so perfect times. I don't even keep score any more of the good days and the bad days. That's something I quit back around the time I was thirty. After that I just survived the bad and enjoyed the good. And was thankful for both. Because what-ever doesn't kill you will only serve to make you stronger~ and I think I'm pretty strong!
Watch for blessings that may come your way. Enjoy your life what ever your age. Dance with your kids if you have them. Enjoy them and appreciate them. Be thankful for those perfect and the not so perfect moments. For every moment is a gift ~ every second special! And a chocolate cake with raspberry jam icing~ Perfect! Have a great day!
Patsy
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Alaska- America's Last Frontier
“To the lover of wilderness, Alaska is one of the most wonderful countries in the world.” ~ John Muir ~
The Arctic has a call that is compelling. The distant mountains [of the Brooks Range in Alaska] make one want to go on and on over the next ridge and over the one beyond. The call is that of a wilderness known only to a few...This last American wilderness must remain sacrosanct." ~William O. Douglas~
Outsiders first discovered Alaska On August 20th, 1741 when Danish explorer Vitus Jonassen Bering sighted it on a voyage from Siberia. I have never been to Alaska but I know people who have. The Army sent my brother, David, there many years ago. He hasn't said it to me in the exact words but I hear in his voice when he talks about it that he would love to go there again. One fellow who has been there many times in his life says to me that "it gets in a man"s blood, that beauty; that something special that never leaves you after you have been there."
I would love to see it someday for myself. I have seen pictures and even have video filmed by My dear Hubby's Dad when he was working there. I almost understand the idea of it seeping into your bloodstream and calling you back again and again. Happy Birthday Alaska!
Alaskan fast facts
~Russian whalers and fur traders on Kodiak Island established the first settlement in Alaska in 1784.
~In 1867 United States Secretary of State William H. Seward offered Russia $7,200,000, or two cents per acre, for Alaska.
~On October 18, 1867 Alaska officially became the property of the United States. Many Americans called the purchase "Seward's Folly."
~Joe Juneau's 1880 discovery of gold ushered in the gold rush era.
~In 1943 Japan invaded the Aleutian Islands, which started the One Thousand Mile War, the first battle fought on American soil since the Civil War.
~Alaska officially became the 49Th state on January 3, 1959.
~Nearly one-third of Alaska lies within the Arctic Circle.
~The Alaska Highway was originally built as a military supply road during World War II.
~The discovery of gold in the Yukon began a gold rush in 1898. Later gold was discovered at Nome and Fairbanks.
~Alaska is a geographical marvel. When a scale map of Alaska is superimposed on a map of the 48 lower states, Alaska extends from coast to coast.
~Alaska is the United State's largest state and is over twice the size of Texas. Measuring from north to south the state is approximately 1,400 miles long and measuring from east to west it is 2,700 miles wide.
~Alaska's name is based on the Eskimo word Alakshak meaning great lands or peninsula.
Alaska
America's Largest State.
Land of the Midnight Sun.
An Anglers Dream.
Scenic; filled with wonderful beauty.
Kodiak Island; Alaska's Emerald Isle
America's Last Frontier
written by: Patricia Sawyer
8-20-2008
Enjoy the beauty of our world. Preserve it in every way that you can. Take the time to look at the sky and the trees. Be thankful that beauty surrounds us. Enjoy life. Have a great day!
Patsy
The Arctic has a call that is compelling. The distant mountains [of the Brooks Range in Alaska] make one want to go on and on over the next ridge and over the one beyond. The call is that of a wilderness known only to a few...This last American wilderness must remain sacrosanct." ~William O. Douglas~
Outsiders first discovered Alaska On August 20th, 1741 when Danish explorer Vitus Jonassen Bering sighted it on a voyage from Siberia. I have never been to Alaska but I know people who have. The Army sent my brother, David, there many years ago. He hasn't said it to me in the exact words but I hear in his voice when he talks about it that he would love to go there again. One fellow who has been there many times in his life says to me that "it gets in a man"s blood, that beauty; that something special that never leaves you after you have been there."
I would love to see it someday for myself. I have seen pictures and even have video filmed by My dear Hubby's Dad when he was working there. I almost understand the idea of it seeping into your bloodstream and calling you back again and again. Happy Birthday Alaska!
Alaskan fast facts
~Russian whalers and fur traders on Kodiak Island established the first settlement in Alaska in 1784.
~In 1867 United States Secretary of State William H. Seward offered Russia $7,200,000, or two cents per acre, for Alaska.
~On October 18, 1867 Alaska officially became the property of the United States. Many Americans called the purchase "Seward's Folly."
~Joe Juneau's 1880 discovery of gold ushered in the gold rush era.
~In 1943 Japan invaded the Aleutian Islands, which started the One Thousand Mile War, the first battle fought on American soil since the Civil War.
~Alaska officially became the 49Th state on January 3, 1959.
~Nearly one-third of Alaska lies within the Arctic Circle.
~The Alaska Highway was originally built as a military supply road during World War II.
~The discovery of gold in the Yukon began a gold rush in 1898. Later gold was discovered at Nome and Fairbanks.
~Alaska is a geographical marvel. When a scale map of Alaska is superimposed on a map of the 48 lower states, Alaska extends from coast to coast.
~Alaska is the United State's largest state and is over twice the size of Texas. Measuring from north to south the state is approximately 1,400 miles long and measuring from east to west it is 2,700 miles wide.
~Alaska's name is based on the Eskimo word Alakshak meaning great lands or peninsula.
Alaska
America's Largest State.
Land of the Midnight Sun.
An Anglers Dream.
Scenic; filled with wonderful beauty.
Kodiak Island; Alaska's Emerald Isle
America's Last Frontier
written by: Patricia Sawyer
8-20-2008
Enjoy the beauty of our world. Preserve it in every way that you can. Take the time to look at the sky and the trees. Be thankful that beauty surrounds us. Enjoy life. Have a great day!
Patsy
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
The Death of an Angel
"Think of your child; then, not as dead, but as living; not as a flower that has withered, but as one that is transplanted, and touched by a divine hand, is blooming in richer colors and sweeter shades than those on earth."
~ Richard Hooker~
“There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were." ~ Dwight David Eisenhower~
Can one ever Overcome the death of a child? I stood silently as so many people promised my friends that they would get over it in time. I wondered how many had lost a child? How many had Overcome the grief? I reasoned that there was nothing at all that I could do for my friends except be there for them if they needed me and try to do my part for the others who would need food and coffee and an occasional laugh as they visited us in a house full of tears and despair. For you see I do not understand. I still have my children. I can only imagine the depth of their grief. I have a very good imagination.. Their grief and despair I believe would reach deeper than any of us who have not suffered it could even begin to understand. Deeper than even my wild imagination.But Hopefully not deeper than My love for them and Kelby!
I always went in the door closest to him. I talked to him though many did not. I trusted that he understood me though he never answered me with words. I loved the light in his eyes when he would smile at something you whispered to him. I Loved the smile he shared with his Mother when she would sing to him. I loved to see him respond to his Daddy and sister. We will all miss him. But we are thankful for being allow to borrow a special one for such a short while.......
~The Death of an Angel~
Sorrow detonates.
Pulling at my sleeping form.
Oddly Humble.
In the Golden Light.
Why do I weep?
An earthy brook swirls
twisting and turning
under the snowy white bridge.
Grandma's Beckon.
Hurry home child!
The Frog never stood a chance
Grabbed by one back leg.
And stuffed into a pocket.
As bare feet bounded
onto the golden streets.
"You are my Sunshine"
A young mans voice Calls
to those who weep.
"My Only Sunshine"
His rich, deepening voice adds.
Running, hopping,
stopping to turn a few flips
before Dancing
into the Golden glowing light.
A sense of peace and Love
overwhelming: fills my own soul.
As my hand struggles
fighting it's way from dream world
reaching for the Jingle
calling to it.
Pulling my mind
back to Earth.
Eyes turning to the clock.
Eyes wide open now
I lift the phone to hear
the Broken Father sob
"Kelby is no Longer with us"
and I now know
that I have witnessed
the Death of an angel.
written By : Patricia Sawyer
8-13-2008
Kelby Ray Stone
BARNWELL — Kelby Ray Stone, 13, son of Clifton Ray and Sheri Stanley Stone died Friday, August 1, 2008, at his home.
Kelby was born September 13, 1994, in Orangeburg, SC. He attended the Barnwell Public School Special Education Class. He was a loving son, brother, and grandson and will be missed by all of his family and friends.
Funeral services will be held at 4 p.m. Monday, August 4, 2008, at Trinity Baptist Church. Burial will follow in the church cemetery. Visitation with the family will be held from 6-8 Sunday evening at Mole Funeral Home.
Survivors include his parents of Barnwell; a sister, Karissa Stone of Barnwell, SC; paternal grandparents, Nancy Holder, Billy and Barbara Stone of Sanford, NC; maternal grandparents, Marvin and Kay Stanley of Barnwell, SC. He was predeceased by His maternal grandmother, Marilyn Bowers.
~ Richard Hooker~
“There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were." ~ Dwight David Eisenhower~
Can one ever Overcome the death of a child? I stood silently as so many people promised my friends that they would get over it in time. I wondered how many had lost a child? How many had Overcome the grief? I reasoned that there was nothing at all that I could do for my friends except be there for them if they needed me and try to do my part for the others who would need food and coffee and an occasional laugh as they visited us in a house full of tears and despair. For you see I do not understand. I still have my children. I can only imagine the depth of their grief. I have a very good imagination.. Their grief and despair I believe would reach deeper than any of us who have not suffered it could even begin to understand. Deeper than even my wild imagination.But Hopefully not deeper than My love for them and Kelby!
I always went in the door closest to him. I talked to him though many did not. I trusted that he understood me though he never answered me with words. I loved the light in his eyes when he would smile at something you whispered to him. I Loved the smile he shared with his Mother when she would sing to him. I loved to see him respond to his Daddy and sister. We will all miss him. But we are thankful for being allow to borrow a special one for such a short while.......
~The Death of an Angel~
Sorrow detonates.
Pulling at my sleeping form.
Oddly Humble.
In the Golden Light.
Why do I weep?
An earthy brook swirls
twisting and turning
under the snowy white bridge.
Grandma's Beckon.
Hurry home child!
The Frog never stood a chance
Grabbed by one back leg.
And stuffed into a pocket.
As bare feet bounded
onto the golden streets.
"You are my Sunshine"
A young mans voice Calls
to those who weep.
"My Only Sunshine"
His rich, deepening voice adds.
Running, hopping,
stopping to turn a few flips
before Dancing
into the Golden glowing light.
A sense of peace and Love
overwhelming: fills my own soul.
As my hand struggles
fighting it's way from dream world
reaching for the Jingle
calling to it.
Pulling my mind
back to Earth.
Eyes turning to the clock.
Eyes wide open now
I lift the phone to hear
the Broken Father sob
"Kelby is no Longer with us"
and I now know
that I have witnessed
the Death of an angel.
written By : Patricia Sawyer
8-13-2008
Kelby Ray Stone
BARNWELL — Kelby Ray Stone, 13, son of Clifton Ray and Sheri Stanley Stone died Friday, August 1, 2008, at his home.
Kelby was born September 13, 1994, in Orangeburg, SC. He attended the Barnwell Public School Special Education Class. He was a loving son, brother, and grandson and will be missed by all of his family and friends.
Funeral services will be held at 4 p.m. Monday, August 4, 2008, at Trinity Baptist Church. Burial will follow in the church cemetery. Visitation with the family will be held from 6-8 Sunday evening at Mole Funeral Home.
Survivors include his parents of Barnwell; a sister, Karissa Stone of Barnwell, SC; paternal grandparents, Nancy Holder, Billy and Barbara Stone of Sanford, NC; maternal grandparents, Marvin and Kay Stanley of Barnwell, SC. He was predeceased by His maternal grandmother, Marilyn Bowers.
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