Saturday, August 23, 2008

Oh to be 30 Again.

"When you turn thirty, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like you parents." ~Blair Sabol ~

"After 30, a body has a mind of its own." ~ Bette Midler

"Everything I know I learned after I was thirty. " ~ Georges Clemenceau ~

Turning Thirty is a milestone we all dread for some obscure reason. Today My niece turns thirty. Ten days ago My oldest son turned thirty. I have been thinking about thirty for many days. I guess that with Anthony turning thirty I am beginning to feel old. I remember when I turned thirty. Wow I really am getting old!

I turned thirty on November 29th, 1989. Anthony was eleven years old and Cooper was fifteen months old and I was seven months along in the hardest of the three pregnancies. My then Husband was gone on a trip in his beloved eighteen wheeler and the three of us were at home in the trailer park. We lived in a tiny little trailer. You all know the kind I'm talking about. They are so cramped and small that you have to go outside to change your mind. I hated that trailer and that trailer park. I think about living there and some of the other places I have survived and I am so grateful for my home and my life now.

Anthony baked me a cake that day. It was chocolate with homemade raspberry jam for icing. He found a left-over candle and stuck it in the top. I think the candle was a number one. Saved from Coop's first cake. He also cooked supper for us that night as a gift to me. I had been at the neighbor's house visiting and letting Cooper run around with her son until dark. When I came home and smelled something cooking I began right away fussing. Anthony stepped out with my cake ~ dripping jam on the floor ~ and I simply cried as he sang HAPPY BIRTHDAY at the top of his young voice. He had also cooked Macaroni and cheese and hot dogs. But that cake with the jam dripping everywhere and the number one candle, shoved down into it's center, has always remained my best Birthday cake ever.

Would I go back to thirty? No way!! No how!! I don't envy the younger folks.. They still have so much to learn. At thirty they are really just beginning to figure things out. Phoebe and Anthony are smart. They most likely had it all figured out a long time ago. But things have a way of not always working out like we hoped. I know I thought I had life by the tail when I was thirty. Little did I know that my life was about to take some sharp turns. Many of them way beyond my control. Most of them at the time I felt were devastating. But for that one day~ in that one moment~ My world was perfect.

This year in just a few months now I will turn 49. Next year I will be half a hundred. Now y'all have to admit half a hundred sounds real, real old! So don't moan about being thirty. Enjoy it!
The night I turned thirty I danced with my children and ate hot dogs and Mac and cheese. We laughed and sang and got sticky with Raspberry jam. We sat on a tiny trailer porch and looked at the stars And that night as I Kissed my sons good-night I thanked God for giving me great kids and for letting me live to be as old as thirty!

Oh to be thirty again would mean I'd have to do it all again and I wouldn't choose that. But I will always cherish the memory of a young boy stepping proudly into the room as his changing voice squeaked and then rang out loudly with Happy Birthday. Holding tightly to his platter as his cake almost slipped from it's sweet bed of jam. That One candle Burning almost as bright as his eyes!
Cooper's baby hands clapping at the sight. My thirty~ My perfect night!

I have had many perfect nights in my life. I like to think that they will some day out weigh the not so perfect times. I don't even keep score any more of the good days and the bad days. That's something I quit back around the time I was thirty. After that I just survived the bad and enjoyed the good. And was thankful for both. Because what-ever doesn't kill you will only serve to make you stronger~ and I think I'm pretty strong!

Watch for blessings that may come your way. Enjoy your life what ever your age. Dance with your kids if you have them. Enjoy them and appreciate them. Be thankful for those perfect and the not so perfect moments. For every moment is a gift ~ every second special! And a chocolate cake with raspberry jam icing~ Perfect! Have a great day!


Anonymous said...

Dad gum girl you are getting old! Reuben

Big Time said...

And, I mean old!!!!!

Suzanne said...

And I will be turning 30 before this year ends! Yay!

Sunshine said...

Half of a hundred sounds young to me! I love to dance in the kitchen with my boys while cooking supper! Life is pretty good even after 30!!

Pblacksaw said...

Reuben~ Yea and you're right behind me..

Big time~ it's better than the only alternative to old!

Suzanne~ enjoy it.. Old is right around the

Sunshine~ I recall thinking 30 was old and then thinking well maybe 40 was old.. Half a hundred now just seems lucky to still be around to annoy everyone!

Pblacksaw said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sassy Mama Bear said...

Darling here I was stressing because my youngest son turned 15 are far from old though, you have a full life ahead of you, remember we are only as old as we feel.

Pheebs said...

(Yes, I'm reading old posts) Now, I'm 31. Whew, it's been mighty rough! I look at my girls - Hannah just turned 10 - 10!! Can you believe it?? Dani is 7. Somedays, I just need it to stop for second - I don't mind getting older. I don't mind grey hair, I don't mind wrinkles (they're showing up on the backs of my hands). Nothing about aging bothers me, but the time flies so quickly. I just need a break - Just a few minutes. Father time is cruel when you llok at your children and they're nearly grown. Anthony may have it all figured out, but I don't. I'm flying by the seat of my pants most days. Just trying to take it all in. I think I'm gonna be a toys r us kid with "Peter Pan" syndrome for the rest of my life. If having children keeps you young at heart, then I'm very lucky. Or maybe not - they grow too fast!!