Tuesday, August 11, 2009

A Twisted up Tuesday!

"In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are consequences."

"I admit that reason is a small and feeble flame, a flickering torch by stumblers carried in the star-less night, blown and flared by passion's storm. And yet, it is the only light. Extinguish that, and nought remains."

"I would rather live with the woman I love in a world full of trouble, than to live in heaven with nobody but men."

"The true civilization is where every man gives to every other every right that he claims for himself."
~ All from Robert Green Ingersoll

Robert Green Ingersoll was born in Dresden, New York on this day in 1833. With very little schooling, he served two law apprenticeships to qualify for the bar. He put together a cavalry regiment in Illinois and led it with distinction at Shiloh, but was captured by the Confederates. He was eventually freed and returned to Illinois after taking an oath that he would not fight for the north again. He was appointed as the first Attorney General of Illinois in 1867, but he never held any other office. He was an outspoken agnostic, and even though he spoke on behalf of many Republican candidates, he was never appointed to any positions when they won. He made a dozen cross-country speaking tours, filling the largest theaters at a dollar a seat for his lectures on Shakespeare, Robert Burns, religion, politics, and the lives of famous patriots and scientists. For that time period a dollar a seat was considered a lot of money and yet people paid it to here him speak.. Many of his speeches encouraged Free thought and Humanism.. often Poking fun at organized religion. For his extreme views; the press often attacked him, but neither his views nor the negative press could stop his rising popularity. In fact, he is believed to have been seen and heard by more Americans than any other person before the advent of motion pictures and radio.

He pretty much didn't care what others thought of him.. He spoke about what he believed in and didn't care who's toes he stepped on..The people loved him but the powerful political people of that time.. had to keep him from serving in any official office..I wonder if they were afraid of his power?? He sorta reminds me of this woman I know... You might know her too.. I liked his quotes.. He shared his wisdom with a lot of people.. they say that his lectures were always spoken from memory with no notes or written scripts.. and that even though most of his speeches were at least three hours long his audience was never bored or restless.. How great to hold the attention of others for three hours at a stretch.. I wish I could do that!


Ten Fads You just don't get!

1:)~ Tiny dogs carried in purses.. Paris Hilton was the first person I actually saw do it.. And her pup at least fit the bag.. I was in the grocery store a few weeks ago and saw a woman keep patting her bag.. Finally I saw her open the huge purse and say to the tiny dog inside.. "Lay down or I'll have to go put you in the hot truck!" The dog needed to be at home.. I walk my tiny dog on a leash.. he doesn't buy groceries or go to the Wal-mart with me.. He stays at home.. He has never been inside my purse.. He would get lost in all the junk I keep in there...He doesn't sleep hanging on the back of my chair while I have a drink in a bar.. He's a dog..enough said! :~{ !!

2:)~ Fake spray on tans.. I know you have seen those women and in a few rare cases even men who are orange~ish brown... at first I thought a friend of mine was sick turns out she was fine.. she said she had a "TAN".... They will deny with their last breath that they have a spray on tan... or maybe they are dipped I don't know.. but their tan isn't natural.. I can imagine them all lined up to be harnessed and lowered into a vat....dipped and dabbled in a weak brown staining solution...."step up and be tanned.." ~ "Come One and All.. be beautiful.." I guess with all the tanning is dangerous and causes cancer that we now hear maybe they are trying to be healthy and beautifully tanned.. Find another way.. You are orange and look icky! Please Tan a little at the time like the rest of us... Or be white... Either way I don't like you Orange~ish brown..

3:)~Bachelor and Bachelor-ette Reality Shows... OK.. Who wants to go on TV and wait and watch as the Man/Woman of your "dreams" dates; kisses; frolics; cuddles and in a lot of cases hits a home run with 50 others besides you then gives you a rose? Culling the other fools one at a time until after she/he has tried on everything the show has to offer and found every one to be lacking in some special thing.. hmmmm... Special as in one in a million? hard to find? Once in a lifetime? Can't be bought with a dozen roses? I'll pass.. Even if I wasn't married to Dave.. I'd pass... I'm the jealous type... I'd get mad... I'd take a rose and beat a bimbo who cheated by sneaking naked into the bachelor's room after the rest of us were in bed.... There was a girl on there once that I thought should get a special prize ... call it the brass canasta's prize!..... She got drunk and slipped the guy a surprise gift of her Panties the very first night when they met.. All the other girls booed and cried foul! She later said she didn't do it.. I saw her.. it was the last time I watched the show...Then she didn't show up to the rose ceremony because she was passed out.. they even showed her passed out on a bed with her green dress all wrinkled and twisted... Needless to say she didn't get a rose..

4:)~ Beauty Pageants~ I have been hating these forever.. I despise seeing tiny little girls taught to paint and priss and parade themselves for a golden cup.. Most of these are beautiful little girls with out all the paint and glitter... If Parents want their daughters... and yes there are pageants for boys too.. to be judged on what they look like then I say walk them across the stage in their own skin.. No paint.. no ruffles.. no lace and frills.. Put them on some clothes that normal kids would wear to the park.. Stick them in the sand box or on the slide and sit back and say "MAN!! what a good looking bunch of kids".. then give them all a prize of an ice cream cone.. The truth is that once your child is out there in the lime light you can't protect them from the crazies.. Believe what you like... there are crazies out there.. they go to children's pageants and to modeling try outs and to a great many of the same events our children attend... I never wanted to draw special attention to my kids.. I know a lot of people pride themselves on the status of their child in the Pageant circuit so I'll just say... this is my ten.. I don't like Pageants I think they are a danger to innocent children .. You can feel free to list me as a fad you wish would go away!

5:)~ Energy drinks~ Young Americans have made the manufacturers of these things rich.. Everyone drinks them.. well everyone except me.. I think they taste like scraps in a bucket smells... I keep scraps in a bucket and toss it to the chickens once a day.. It contains tea bags and coffee grounds and the crusts of bread from my sandwich and onion peelings and cucumber spots and the list of nastiness goes on.. chickens love it to scratch down in the ground.. I should grind it up and color it red or neon blue or apple green and sell it.. Young people please go to bed and sleep.. your young brain needs to rest and replenish.. Energy drinks are bad for your health.. Young folks stay up all night partying and playing video games then drink energy drinks to function the next day.. I have seen it with my own kids..... then before you know it their whole system is out of whack and they can't sleep.... so they have another Bull something or other energy burst in a can.. Some one even told Dave about mixing some kind of alcohol with an energy drink.. and Dave being Dave he thought maybe we'd try it.. Y'all I almost hurled..It was like cough syrup with the chicken bucket poured in too.. Nastier than anything I had ever tasted.. I to drink three shots of the alcohol alone just to get the taste out of my mouth.. :~}!!

6:)~ On-line boyfriends/girlfriends!~ This is another thing that really bothers me.. Think about it.. when you are on your computer you can be anyone at all.. I for instance am a writer.. I really do write every day.. that much is a fact.. I am however not a paid writer.. I have been paid before.. but now everyone out there is a writer so it's harder to find a job that actually pays.. Maybe one day I will be published again but in all honesty I write because I have too.. it's a part of me.. I have way too many notebooks full of stuff I wrote... Way too many more that I wish I still had.. I will write for myself and I will share it with others.. I am not rich.. I'd have to have a step ladder to reach poor... so No I can't loan you two hundred dollars.. On the other hand... not everyone is who or what they claim they are.... I get e-mails from people who read my profiles on different sights and they say they too are a writer.. do I want to meet for fun?! Maybe we can have lunch and fool around..after all we are both writers... Some don't even want a face to face meeting.. just a private chat room will do.. YUCK!! I actually know people who have met and married someone they first talked to on-line.. Sadly those don't usually work out too well.. I know I'll get comments on this and if you met and fell in love on your computer then Great!.. you are one of the Lucky few who did!! But even if you did.. you also know that unless the person can actually meet you in public and have a relationship that doesn't include hiding from their spouse.. then they are playing a cyber game.. They even have web sights that will marry you to your cyber spouse... I wonder if you have to get a cyber divorce too.. I met one of those cyber married couple once in a chat room.. he would get ticked off big time if she spoke to anyone else but him.. he used to try and get all the women there to have cyber affairs with him.. At first I thought it was funny but after a while I figured out it was sad.... She really was mentally involved with him.. when he cut his computer off he was someone Else's Husband and Baby Daddy.. she thought that one day he would leave the real world and belong to her.. I got a message from him a week or so ago.. seems he's a writer now too.. Maybe I'd meet him in a private chat.. NOT!!!

7:)~ Buck shot clothes~ I know people love to wear clothes that are torn and ripped and in some cases down right trashed.. I recently saw a pair of pants for sale that looked like plain old jeans except that they had a gazillion little tiny holes in them.. they wanted over a hundred dollars for them.. the shirt to go with them was almost sixty dollars.. they had the tee shirts in a bunch of colors.. red.. purple and green..striped.. The catch is that these clothes were shot with a gun.. Buck shot.. or so they say.. we both know they most likely didn't hang up a gazillion pairs of pants and shoot them or the shirts either.. I'm sure they had a machine to malfunction in a factory and some red neck said "damn them there looks like my grand-daddy shot them with his shot gun".. and thus began the fad of buck shot clothes.. I mean wouldn't it seem to you that anyone found in real buckshot clothes would most likely be dead or at the very least bleeding?.. Wouldn't they be a victim or in some cases the perpetrator of a crime? Why do you want to look like Grand- daddy shot you as you ran away from his watermelon patch? If you insist on having clothes with holes...bring me all your clothes and fifty dollars an outfit.. I think My brother Reuben might have a shot gun .. Dave has an old re-loader and I sure have a clothes line..we'll fix you right up and save you some money too!!

8:)~ Extremely long nails~ Why does a person need finger nails so long that their hands are useless? Are those even real? I saw a woman in the store who couldn't even use her hand.. her nails were so long that on one hand that they were all curled and twisted.. They looked like something you might see in a horror movie on the woman who was walled up in the basement..I watched in horrid fascination as she tried to pay for her goods with just the useful hand.. I know the hand worked except for the nails because she was holding a drink in it.. Those long claws twisting and twirling around the bottle.. They were painted a lime green then had roses with long and thorny stems painted on them... The nails on the other hand would barely hold a rose bud and then she had these that could have a whole rose bush painted on them.. what on earth for?? I am sorry but I wanted to take her right to the nail place and demand that they fix this mess!! Unless she was practicing for the Guinness book... and I doubt that.. then she needed a serious manicure.. Mine would never grow like that..I'd break one.. how lazy do you have to be to have three or four inch nails?... I bet she doesn't have a computer boyfriend .. she could never type fast enough to catch one!

9:)~ Neon Hair colors~ Years ago I worked at a sewing room making kids clothes, one morning the lady who sat at the sewing machine facing mine came in and wore a knitted hat all day.. It was in the middle of July and much too hot for a hat... Maria was a nice enough woman but she could get a little testy if she thought you were being nosy so I just ignored that hat.... as much as I could anyway... It didn't help that when I went to smoke at the ashtray in the corner a flock gathered around wanting to know what was up with the hat.. Finally just as the day was almost over she stood up and shouted as she ripped the hat off of her head.. "There!! are You people satisfied NOW!" Her hair was the purest shade of lime green I have ever seen.. She had been one of the first to try the Cool aid dye in her hair and had for a few years been coloring her hair with the lovely Black cherry flavored drink mix.. It suited her chocolaty skin tones and her warm brown eyes.. But alas, she had angered her usually mild mannered fifteen year old son and the night before he had sneaked into her ritual hair coloring routine and substituted Lime flavored drink mix for her normal Black cherry.. hers was an accident.. the weird colors being worn by our young people and sometimes older people too are no accident.. they pay big bucks to have their lovely locks stripped of any natural color and then dyed pink or purple or even blue..
One of my own children even had the nerve to send me a picture of himself with pink hair.. his girlfriend talked him into it.. The fit I had here in my own home was not pretty.. But to him I just said I didn't like it.. thankfully he still had his regualr color under that mess and it will grow out fast enough.. Plus his hair is long so he can get it cut when he decides pink is not his color.. Maria wore her lime hair until it grew out enough to get a trim and still have a little hair.. Can all those chemicals be good for a persons hair? I would be scared I'd shoot for purple and wind up bald.. Or worse yet, Purple and Bald...

10:)~ Skin tight clothes~ Have you ever seen a person that looks like they must have jumped off their roof and into their clothes to get them on? Or maybe that they had to grease their body and slide into the clothes.. Pants that look painful.. shirts that show rolls even you didn't know you had? I hate skin tight clothes.. Some people call the pants skinny pants.. I call them damn you need bigger pants.. Pants! .. On skinny people they make you look like a skeleton in pants and on Fat people.. well I don't want to see all those rolls pinched up like that.. suppose they bust loose? what then? You will jiggle like jello till you jiggle completely away.. Put on some clothes that fit.. you know you don't look your best in skin tight cloths.. even if you have a decent body I don't want to see it squeezed in clothes that need to be a size bigger.. Go get a size bigger clothes.. you'll breath better and I want be scared your pants will rupture..


Happy Tuesday!
I couldn't decide what I wanted to do today.. It has been a twisted up day all around.. At 2 am my dogs began barking and howling.. I decided that while I yelled for them to shut up would be a good time to visit the potty before going back to sleep.. Time I sat down my phone went to ringing.. Now see here people... don't call me at 2am.. Not unless something is very wrong.. So I am stranded on the potty... the phone is ringing and the dogs are raising hell outside and the one inside is now yelping too... Just as I am almost able to stand the phone quits ringing and someone knocks on my window... I am now terrified.. I am sure someone is dead or dieing and I am too busy using the bathroom to have answered the phone.. It was Dave.. he was trying to sneak in after work with out waking me up.. he forgot his keys and I locked the one door that he thought he could sneak in through.. any other time that door would not have been locked... he came in and put in a movie and before even hitting play he went hard and fast asleep while I lay there awake all night long.. wondering about things that were silly.. trying to go back to sleep... hearing sounds that came from God only knows where.. getting up and down checking doors and taking the inside dog out.. and telling the outside dogs to shut up a million times.. their own sleep having been disturbed by Dave walking around the house in the pitch black of night.. and so that's how today started out twisted and has been twisted in one way or the other all day.. I hope you will enjoy today's blog.. I know it's different.. enjoy it anyway! Feel free to leave me a comment.. even a twisted up one will be fine! It will match with the rest of my day! Have a great day!


Becca said...

Tiny dogs in purses are beyond me. I know many people who bring their dogs to movies now.

PJ said...

wow! that is a lot of stuff there woman...lol!

i agree with you on almost everything that you wrote about.

i have done the purple hair thing a few years back when i was still bartending and before i cut 2 feet off my hair. i just had it streaked purple and thought it looked pretty cool.

the online dating thing i am also guilty of. that is how i met michael and i am very thankful for the technology of the internet for that. i linked to our story in my last post, you should check it out.

i think with the energy drinks they should have an age restriction on them. what the hell does a child need to have more energy for?! if they would get off their butts and go "play" instead of watching tv or playing video games, their metabolism would be just fine. did you know that they are making energy candy now? i about lost it when i saw that! totally insane!

you have a wonderful day my friend...xoxox

Big Time said...

Another good one. I love you Patsy!

Pblacksaw said...

Becca~ I can't imagine why anyone would take a dog to the movies.. this whole world is twisted..

Pj~ I might have tried the purple stripes in my own hair.. sounds cool.. I checked out your story and yours is one in a million.. Energy candy.. That's crazy! Kids today look at you like you are from Mars if you tell them to go play.. They don't know what that is...

Big Time~ I was wondering.. I saw your towel flying picture on that other sight.. You and the short kid.. next time I want to wear a red towel and be wonder woman!.. I love you Reuben...

I am glad that you all visited me today... Hopefully a few of you got a smile from my twisted Tuesday!

Jan from BetterSpines said...

Totally agree with your 10 things. Pink hair and can't get a job? Energy drinks for kids who are on Ritalin because they are supposed to sit still and not be active like a kid should be? And dogs in purses is just unreal. My hair actually went orange when a blonde colour went wrong! Not funny! Loved this post - really identified with you.

Pblacksaw said...

Jan~ I forgot about the Ritalin craze... though I can't imagine how. I think about half of the children in Our local school is on that.. I had to go to the school once to take Tylenol to my daughter and they had it laid out in trays.. STACKS of trays... They even hired a second nurse because they had so many tablets to hand out at one time.. The school pushes for it and the Doctors write out the prescriptions.. It changes a child's personality..

Kimmy said...

I agree with almost all of them. But I love my Monster, or Full Throttle Energy drinks. I don't drink them daily, but once in a while, instead of coffee before work, I will get a large cold energy drink. Especially when I have a long day of interviewing. Triple caffeine is very enticing when I know I will be sitting in my office asking the same questions 20-30 times!