Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Wednesday and It's full of Weird!


"Weird, strange, different and unique are all different shades of the same word. How you perceive an experience or individual will determine which shade of this word you use. Another person's perception may be entirely different," ~ Mr. Prophet

“I used to think that anyone doing anything weird was weird. I suddenly realized that anyone doing anything weird wasn't weird at all and it was the people saying they were weird that were weird.” ~ Paul McCartney

"Seven nurses and the baby has no eyes" which vaguely translates as "Too many cooks spoil the broth". ~ Weird Russian proverbs
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While looking for weird quotes today I came across a whole lot of weird.. Did I say WEIRD Laws.. I have most likely broke some of them with out even knowing they were laws... All of them are weird.. some of them are really weird and a few of them are plain Scary! I will be sharing a few of them with you today before we get to the weird questions!


Top ten Worldwide Weird Laws~ Number 7: Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or a piece of wood at all times. (A piece of wood?...a brick? In extreme cases do they cover with a board and set a brick on top of that?)


In California~
  • It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
  • It is illegal to set a mousetrap without a hunting license.
  • Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet from a tavern,school or place of worship.

  • For some weird reason I thought killing whales was illegal?? All mice need to die.. I hate mice!.. and this third law.. Umm who regulates that? does it include the whales and the mice? And if they can hide so that they aren't seen publicly.. is it then legal? You folks in California are weird!


    In Tennessee~
  • It's illegal to transport a skunk across state lines.
  • It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.

  • ~ I am thinking this skunk law is obsolete! I wonder how many cars right now crossing the line coming this way have a hidden compartment with a fat skunk inside of it? I would like to see some cowpoke lasso a fish.. I think My brother Jimmy might be successful though.. He has roped a lot of things including people..

    Now we move on to the weird questions.

    1-
    ]
    ] Someone dares you to eat two cooked bulls testicles for 1,500 dollars. They're fried, topped with nacho cheese, lima beans and maple syrup and you have to eat it all. Are you going to eat it for the cash or pass? Do I really look that weird? My first husband once brought home some boar hog balls and although I refused he did clean them and cooked them himself.. He was so happily enjoying them that he convinced me to taste one.. It Tasted just like all other pork to me.. But bull testicles are huge.. they used to have some crazy weird show on Television where they ate all the weird animal parts.. I saw Bull testicles being ate on there once.. I'm not sure I could eat them even for 1500 $ .. How weird and broke does one have to be to eat weird stuff for 1500 $??.... I'm thinking I'm not quiet there yet.... besides I hate maple syrup so I guess I'd have to pass..


    2-] ~
    Strong in mind or strong in body? I am strong in Mind.. not quiet so strong in body.. Dave is strong in body.. You should see him pick me up when... Oh weird I almost told a secret... We are both actually kinda strong in body.. we work in the yard a lot.. Dave has a job that requires a great deal of strength in both areas.. When I worked at the hotel washing and folding the gazillion nasty bed sheets everyday I needed a strong body and sometimes a strong stomach.. I also needed a strong mind to tolerate the bosses and to work in the office dealing with those who sometimes came for a room... People are plain nasty... I guess we had a lot of weirdos who stayed there.. but if this weird questions means I can just choose one.. I'll choose strong in Body.. I'll improve my weak mind provided I have sense enough to know I need to.. I hate these weird either or questions.. who would want to be a super strong dum-bass or a super smart weakling? that isn't much of a choice.. Can I be weird and say a little of each please?

    3-] ~ Where is your favorite places on the body to be kissed? Favorite places to kiss? Y'all know y'all are so delightfully weird trying to sneak a sexual question in like it's innocent... I have a few places I like to be kissed... Dave knows them all.. he found most of them before I knew I liked it.. I think that's way more info than anyone else needs since I don't plan on being kissed in those places by anyone other than Dave.. maybe I'll be weird one day and write them down for him just in case he might forget But for now.. Quit being weird! Places to kiss.. well that depends on who I'm kissing.. I will kiss my brothers on their cheek sometimes.. It's a dirty job but some one has to do it... I don't kiss brother-in-laws.. that would be way to weird.. those are the lips that kissed my sister.. in her good places.. Brrrr.. I kiss my kids on the head and the cheek.. when they were tiny I kissed their feet and hands too.. I know I'm a weird Mama.. I also kissed and snuggled their chins and necks and ears.. honestly I am not too big on kissing anyone who is not my lover.. and in my weird world that also means Dave!!!!! I have kissed my sisters on the cheek too.. I love them and could hug them to pieces but Kissing is special..

    4-]~
    Have you ever walked in on someone else having sex? How did you and the people involved react? This is so weird when it happens.. I had some family of a relative.. ( I know that is weird).. They came to town to hunt Deer and got drunk in a bar and called me to come there too.I went and wouldn't let them drive or go to their elderly Mom's house in that state.. So i being the good friend that I am brought the whole kit and caboodle home with me.. My kids were at their Dad's and I was at that time a single woman.. One guy was on the phone and another had walked outside with his lady he picked up in the bar.. The dad to these two guys was asking about the house and said he'd like a tour.. I knew what he was after but I was dating Dave.. It would have been weird to hook up like that anyway.. I proceed to take him on a tour and as we step into the kids room and I flipped on the light .. there they were.. One of the guys and his girl from the club.. he yelled at me to turn out the light and she hid her face.. She should have hid it in shame.. I was mad.. More than mad... I got weird ... The woman decided she might need to go quick.. I found parts of her outfit from here to the highway.. The guy just rolled over and closed his eyes and gave me a weird thanks... The Dad fell asleep sitting at the table with his coffee and the guy on the phone walked back to the bar and got their rented car and showed up here the next morning sober and ready to go hunting.. how weird does one have to be to get naked and find themselves in that predicament in some strangers house in her kids bedroom on a tiny crib mattress sized bed??? God, please If I ever even think of acting that weird and crazy.. please come on down here and get me!

    5-] ~
    What birth control do you use? none.. old age.. I was spade almost twenty years ago.. And I thought that was fixed.. did Y'all know that the surgery is only guaranteed for five years??? When I was sick a couple of years ago they were doing all these tests on me and they kept asking when I last had sex... I told them they were weird and they made me watch a truly weird video about how the tubes come untied and grow back together.. I was about to come unglued... then the weird tests kept coming back inconclusive??? how can that happen.. I wanted them to do something to check mine.. they said I was weird.. Me weird.. Y'all ain't seen weird till I get pregnant at 50 years old!!!

    6-] ~ Pretend you spent a busy day running errands and shopping... you come home in the afternoon when no one else is home. You come in, sit things down and head to the kitchen. You find a dead body laying in the kitchen floor. What would you do? This is truly one of the weirdest questions I have ever seen.. Is this person someone I know? Is it someone I might even want to see dead? (don't be weird we all have enemies..) Is it someone I might get accused of killing? Is it a fat man or a skinny woman? why are they in my floor? did they die naturally or did someone kill them? How did they get in my house? See there are way to many weird possibilities with this question..That is why I would bury them in the back yard.. No weird questions to answer and I can always plant daisies on top of them.. What did you think I was going to do? Call the police? .. I'm weird not stupid.. I'm not going to jail for some dead person I didn't kill.. unless of course it is someone I know and like and can plainly see died from natural causes.. In which case I will call a friend to help me move the body back to their own home after dark and then we will "find" them and call the police! This weird thing will never happen to me though.. no way am I going to be out all day shopping!

    Wow the questions are weird.. laws are weird.. today has been weird.. this week has been weird.. Maybe I am just plain and simply weird!? Last night I had weird dreams.. I woke up this morning as my daughter was stepping into the kitchen and we had moved our bed.. she looked at my doorway and was looking me in the eye.. her foot step woke me up and for a weird second I forgot we had moved the room around.. and we both squealed.. that was weird.. Cooper is coming home for the week-end to get his car and bringing a girlfriend with him.. That feels weird too.. All my kids are grown and maybe now I'll really begin to do weird things... all the things I missed out on when I was young? I'm thinking I most likely won't... I'll just stay my old weird self and dig in the dirt and raise chickens... Have a delightfully; dizzying; weird day!
    Patsy

    4 comments:

    Big Time said...

    Alright, some of that was too weird and too much info for me. I love you Patsy. Reuben

    PJ said...

    my oh my, you do have some weird ones today, don't you...hehehe!

    i don't understand why the states don't periodically go through their laws and get rid of those ancient ones that are so ridiculous; hunting license to kill a mouse...sheesh.

    eating testicles! no way, no how, uh huh, not me, never!!!! i almost lost it just reading about it...lol!

    i used to be way stronger in body when i was bartending. i could carry 4 cases of bottled beer at once! amazing i can hardly carry 1 now...lol.

    i love kissing! i don't care where i'm at, if i want to kiss my man, i'm gonna kiss my man and that's just the way it is! my neck is the most sensitive and will bought make me...well, never mind...next!

    i have never walked in on anyone having sex, but i have been walked in on. way back in my teen years, big party at this old hotel, lots of empty rooms, round bed, lights came on, yea, red faced...lol!

    no birth control here either, only ovaries left. i didn't read that right did i? baby at 50?!

    thanks for the wonderful weirdness patsy! have a great day, much love to you!

    A Lil Enchanted said...

    Well there goes my plans for the evening... I was going to Chattanooga to lasso some fish and I thought I might take my skunk friend with me. If I get caught will you come bail me out???

    My Mom had a pet skunk for a while when I was lil... it had been descented.... but it still smelled pretty darned skunky. Maybe she got it in TN and carried it across the state line to our house in GA... maybe she's a criminal...

    Did you know that it's illegal to have sex toys in Alabama??? My dear friend could go to jail... hope she has a good hiding place for those...

    Thanks for the weirdness Patsy!

    A Lil Enchanted,
    ~LaShan~

    Pblacksaw said...

    Big time~ Sorry little brother.. But I don't make up the questions.. then they might really be weird!.. I love you!

    PJ~ How about that law where they cover peoples stuff with a brick? he we have a law about driving through town without a man carrying a lantern ten feet in front of you..crazy!.. My neck tooooo.. but I didn't want to say that on account of my baby brother being here soo shhhhhhh... No I am not having a baby but they were about to make me real upset.. how can a pregnancy test be inconclusive??? I think she was just messing with me bout to get hurt..I do know a woman here though that had a son after she had Grandkids.. yep she was 49..

    Lashan~ my ex brother in law had a stinky skunk for a pet.. when that thing died he had it stuffed and it sits by his chair even now.. YUCK!! His was mean and aggressive to everyone but him.. I have been to Chattanooga.. I didn't lasso any fish though.. I knew about those Alabama laws.. they have those laws in all southern states..
    You might be surprised to find out how many times you have broken laws in your bedroom..

    Thanks to all who shared my weirdness today. Have a wonderful Night!
    Patsy