Monday, August 31, 2009

I Survived the Week-End?!

“Wake up with a smile and go after life … live it, enjoy it, taste it, smell it, feel it”. ~ Joe Knapp

“The miracle is this – the more we share, the more we have”. ~Leonard Nimoy

"There is only one way ... to get anybody to do anything. And that is by making the other person want to do it." ~ Dale Carnegie

Wow It's Monday and I survived the long week-end with the visitors and the children and the friends and everyone.. I'm not even sure how I managed not to loose my temper even once... I wasn't drinking.. I didn't have a nerve pill... My tongue is still in one piece so I must not have had to bite that too much.... I had forgotten how loud people are.. Dave and I are very quiet.. I am almost always at home and when he is at work I am here alone.. Other than the few phone calls each day I am pretty much silent.. Well except when I read poetry aloud to see how a word sounds... or read from a story aloud to see if I need to change a word for a certain effect.. (Yes I know that sounds crazy.. I thought all of you already knew I was crazy?!) I do talk to the birds and chickens as I feed them.. I'll tell them no eggs means soup for supper.. Chicken Soup!!.. Sometimes they cluck and cackle as if they are talking back to me.. But all of my dogs barking and my chickens cackling together aren't as loud as a bunch of twenty year old men and three girlfriends...Two children.. and one more pair of adults...Friday night I wanted a cigarette and I haven't smoked in a long long time.. Thankfully everyone came and saw...and met.. and Saturday was pretty quiet.. Two young fellows came and helped Cooper pack.. Carly gathered things for the new puppy and got her own stuff ready for the trip home.. Dave grilled ...outside... taking Mason with him and I cooked the other things in the oven.. checking them now and then.. and sat down to write down a dream I had a week or so ago.. The writing sorta took over and wrote itself into a story.. a very short story though.. We all gathered around the table and had a wonderful meal together before the guys shoved off to Pursue a female of their own and Cooper and Carly finished the packing and loading of everything and finally around 8pm struck out for home.. <~~~~~~ >New Mexico... way across over there... 25 hours away.. as the crow flies....

I know this is not a usual type of thing for me.. I surely don't write dark stuff very often.. But sometimes I do.. This is one of those times.. Maybe you will enjoy it.. Maybe not.. Maybe you won't even catch on .. either way.. I am sharing it.. I am glad to have survived the week-end without blowing my top.. I am glad Cooper and Carly are home in New Mexico safe and sound.. I am glad my house is silent tonight except for the tapping of my toes and the keyboard keys..I am simply glad.. let me know if you enjoy the story or even if you don't.. I will welcome all comments.. I hope that today you too are Glad about something!..Have a great day!
Patsy


Forgive me Father...

The young Padre lathered his scratched and bruised knuckles.. The rusty red water swirled and slugged into the drain... He reached for the nail brush laying along the back of the old porcelain sink....Thirty nine times he would scrub his hands tonight.. One time for each of them that had gone away.. Mama had taught him to keep his hands clean... Mama had taught him many important things before she went away..

The blond news woman begged and pleaded from the tiny television in the bedroom behind him.. She was speaking on behalf of the family of a missing girl... Cynthia Louise some body... He had called her Diana.. He gave them all new names after they went away.. good clean names... Biblical names... The tiny television was balanced on the end of the bed.. He hated television but he liked to hear the pleas after another woman went away.. The bed was a small bed for a man of his size and age.. Hard.. with only a thin blanket and a worn and ragged pillow... There were no pictures on the walls.. The only adornment in the entire room was the big bible laying open on the oak dresser.. He had never liked fancy things.. Mama had told him fancy things were sinful...

Reaching for the snowy white towel the priest dried his hands and smothered the bruises with lotion.. There was no telling what germs those trashy women had on their bodies.. Diana had bit him and scratched him.. He didn't have time to even think of Mama this time... He had been proud of Mama when she went away.. Not one time did she scream or beg like some of the others had.. She had even looked him in the eye when he might have faltered and snarled at him to finish it!... There had been so many more since Mama....

He had been thirteen when Mama went away.. he hadn't known it was going to happen.. he hadn't planned for it to happen... Mama had just risen from his tiny bed and went to bath herself.. he had heard her singing hymns in the bathroom as she washed away the proof of their sins... The next thing he remembered mama was laying on the bathroom floor bleeding and he had been standing over her with blood dripping from his hands.. He would have left her there maimed but alive if not for her snarl.. "Don't be a girly boy! You finish what you started!" Three days later the police had shown up at their spotless house and finding him there alone and Mama no where to be found they had brought him here...

Hanging the towel to dry.. the Father glanced at his reflection from the small shaving mirror over the sink.. thirty eight years he had been here.. growing from a boy to a man.. a Priest...thirty eight women gone away.. all of them sinners.. they had confessed the vilest of sins to him.. Many of them seeming to almost enjoy the telling of their secrets.. sitting back in the darkness of the confessional as if he were a close friend who had shared in their wickedness... penance and absolution for the same wickedness over and over.. He chose carefully.. There was Ruth.... He had long since forgotten her real name.. guilty of adultery not once or even twice.. but seventy times.. He had freed her from her sins.. just as he had freed Mama and the others who had tried to seduce him and the other orphanage boys..and sometimes even one of the Priests here.... before he had become a priest himself just as soon as he possibly could.. No more hiding behind the confessional to hear whispered sins.. Now he sat in the comfort of the booth and listened carefully to the wicked confessors..

Sliding the television back into the dresser drawer the Padre smoothed his frock over his slim body and smiled at the small green light that flashed to let him know another sinner was waiting.. he wasn't in any hurry today.. he had a whole year to decide... slipping silently into the darkened closet he sat back and crossed his legs.. he could smell her perfume.. he was almost sure of who she was before he heard her speak... almost eighteen and the worry of her Parents..he had already forgotten her real name..

"Please say you'll Forgive me Father for I have sinned" .. she began... "and I haven't been to confession in at least fourteen days".. she added almost happily....."Ah yes!" he thought to himself with a sad smile.. twisting on his chair.. settling in for a long tale of daring misdeeds.... It was Miriam....

Written By: Patricia Sawyer
8-29-2009



2 comments:

PJ said...

whoa, that was intense! did that come from your dream? patsy, you are an incredible writer, seriously! i was immediately taken in and the imagery in my head was so vivid. wow!

i'm happy that everything went well for you this past weekend and you still have your tongue. it's hard when they are so far away, isn't it.

much love to you my friend, have a wonderful day!

Pblacksaw said...

PJ~ thanks for the comments on my story.. I guess I scared everyone else away with my weird dreams..and my kinky stories.. I actually got one email asking me if I knew just how strange that story was.... Oh well.. I write .. sometimes a story tells itself..I thought it was pretty good myself...I always have strange dreams and I dream every single night.. YES!It's hard being a parent plain and simple..but yes it's hard when they are so far away and you miss them so much.. but even mine who lives here in town stays busy with her own life and I don't see her very often..I hear more from Cooper than any of the children.. we do hear from Jennifer pretty regular too, Dave does at least..
My oldest works a lot hours plus goes to school and has a very full and busy life..I don't hear from him personally very often but I see his son almost every day and his wife keeps me up on their daughter and on the family news.. she keeps her facebook photo's updated so I can see how they change.. she even posts pictures of Cooper .. he never would unless it was skateboarding.. I miss Maya too.. I know I am missing things with her since they are so far away.. she is so grown acting for such a little girl.. Dave has never been to New Mexico.. Hopefully next summer we are going to drive out there and stay a few days.. I guess we better see about getting Dave a visitors green card or what ever he will need.. LOL..
Thanks for being a faithful reader and a friend! I feel blessed to have found you.. Have a wonderful night!
Patsy