Whoa! It's weird Wednesday again!

"Bride, n. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her."

"Coward, n. One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs."

"Imagination, n. A warehouse of facts with a poet and liar in joint ownership."

All by: Ambrose Bierce ( from his satiric "dictionary"; known as "The Devil's Dictionary" published in 1911)

Bierce who was born on this day in 1842 wrote his definitions as comic satire in columns for several different newspapers before finally publishing the collection. I chose his quotes today because they are so delightfully weird. I have read a great many of them and find most of them to be very accurate... I am often thought by others to be satirical myself... I just state the facts as I see them.. For some weird reason a lot of people don't like it when one does that! For more weird definitions you can search for "The Devil's Dictionary".. I might just be weird but I quiet enjoyed reading over the examples I found on-line! I know it's weird but I'd love to have a copy of that book! Maybe I'll find one in an antique book store somewhere; sometimes!

Now on to the weird questions for today!

Wednesday Weirdness #60
Questions By: Anonymous

1.) To you, what makes the perfect body the perfect body? ~ Well, you can call me weird, but I actually don't think anyone has a perfect body. I am really more of an eye person myself. There are parts of people's bodies that I have found to be near perfect.. I'd have to cut up all the men I ever new and stick parts together to have a man with a perfect body.. ( I am assuming that you meant for me to think in terms of a man!) then he would look all weird and the parts might not fit good.. so .. Yea.. I'm more of an eye person myself.. I like beards too.. but the eyes have to speak to me or the body never gets a glance.. I know three men with beautiful blue eyes.. (besides My sons and brothers! I can't say they have sexy eyes ~ that would make me weird!)
I really like green or greenish eyes the best.. Sometimes Dave's are green sometimes they are almost gold. I like his eyes when he laughs.. He used to walk over at night with his hair in a pony tail.... eyes sparkling.. STOP!!!!! Nope I can't go any where with that.. it would be too weird for my kids!

2.) What part of your body do you obsess about the most? ~ I don't obsess about my body.. Maybe I should.. I do want my hair long and fixed though.. and yes My hair is too fixed.. it's brushed a few times a day and braided back or put back up.... it's long it's hot.. It's mine and I like the way it's fixed.. you wear your hair like you wanna don't you? I wouldn't say I like my body type exactly but I work with what the Lord gave me.. we are getting along pretty good my old tired body and me..

3.) What makes a house a warm, welcoming, comfortable home? ~ This is easy.. It's the people who live with-in.. Call me weird if you want too.. A house can be huge and have fancy things inside and be the place of every night parties and events but Love has to live there for it to feel warm and safe and secure to me. My own house is filled to the brim with stuff.. my own stuff and Dave's stuff and the stuff the kids left here and stuff we are keeping for people and stuff; stuff and more stuff.. Once a guy friend of Dave's was here and he was looking around with his eyes wide and I apologized to him.. saying "I know I have a lot of junk here.."~ He smiled and said.. "never ever change a thing.. it feels like coming home!" I was so tickled.. I didn't even feel weird about all my stuff any more! He later told me that for us to find even the tiniest baby shoes worth keeping and the children's books and the blending of all our stuff on shelves and in every nook and cranny made him feel as if he could almost imagine the happy times we have had here.

4.) What fabric feels sexiest against bare skin?~ Well I could say bare skin but I guess that isn't fabric huh? Well unless you're a weirdo.. If it's sheets you're talking about I want flannel.. satin slides off the bed.. Flannel is soft and soothing and I like them.. If it's fabric that someone is wearing then why are only one of us Bare? Who is bare me or him? Who decided which of us was going to be bare.. can we take turns being bare? Can we afford some silk... I want real silk not that fake stuff... Or am I being weird and you just meant my bare hand? then I don't care... it all feels the same to me.. my hand doesn't care either it's weird like that!

5.) What is the lamest lie you have heard in the last month?~ "I forgot to tell them you worked here!" Yep!! My job didn't pay me one week till the following Monday because they forgot to tell the accountant that I worked there.. Now mind you I have been there several months and always got paid before.. I couldn't decide which was weirder, that they thought I would buy that, or that they couldn't make up a better story than that.. I had a lot of hours that week.. I am told that they wanted to go out of town that week end.. What ever!! I finally got my money on Monday... I Like my job or at least I like parts of it.. I love talking to the people that come in for the breakfast and I kinda like seeing who rents rooms.. It's kinda weird though when someone from Church rents a room with his girlfriend.... I don't even mind doing laundry and I love the housekeepers.. But I hope next time they wanna go out of town they just say they will pay me Monday.. It is way too weird when they forget I work there!!! I ask you~ If I worked for you could you forget me????? I thought NOT!

6.) What always makes you feel better when you're upset?~ chocolate doesn't hurt, nor does a good warm hug.. But KUM BA YAH always works.... When Cooper was little he would see me upset and he would say.."Mommy KUM BA YAH!" If he was scared or couldn't go to sleep or for whatever weird reason kids can come up with I would have to sing to him and no other song would ever work. We sang KUM BA YAH in the cancer clinic and while we fished for supper.. We sang KUM BA YAH laying in bed and swinging on swings at the park... Dave's Kids and Dave too later learned KUM BA YAH and sang with us... I find myself singing it sometimes as I dig in the garden or even while I'm just doing all the things wives do.. I even sing it to myself at the hotel.. I bet they would think I was weird if I sang it out loud in the laundry huh? I don't care.. I feel better right now just singing it here by myself.. You should try it.. You might feel better too..

~ For those of you who don't know.. KUM BA YAH is an African-American spiritual song first sung by slaves. KUM BA YAH meaning Come by here.. a prayer song asking that God Come by Here.. The song has always been soothing to me and to my children.. You should try singing it yourself.. If you don't like it; Just quit singing! It isn't weird.. just try a few verses.. I have even put the lyrics on here for you.. Me and my kids always added a few others to the list we made ours up as we went sometimes.. Cooper even once sang "someone is drawing" Lord.. Kum BA Yah... I guess he thought he needed a little help with his picture!

LYRICS:

(chorus)~ sing first and then between every other verse and at the end; when you are tired of singing!
Kum ba yah, my Lord, kum ba yah!
Kum ba yah, my Lord, kum ba yah!
Kum ba yah, my Lord, kum ba yah!
O Lord, kum ba yah!

Someone's laughing, Lord, kum ba yah!
Someone's laughing, Lord, kum ba yah!
Someone's laughing, Lord, kum ba yah!
O Lord, kum ba yah!

Someone's crying, Lord, kum ba yah!
Someone's crying, Lord, kum ba yah!
Someone's crying, Lord, kum ba yah!
O Lord, kum ba yah!

Someone's singing, Lord, kum ba yah!
Someone's singing, Lord, kum ba yah!
Someone's singing, Lord, kum ba yah!
O Lord, kum ba yah!

And those are the weird questions for today.. They weren't even too Racy for me to answer. I managed to answer every one of them.. I guess that is a little weird for me.... Hopefully a few of you will get a laugh from my answers.. I know people think I'm weird.. I even think I am a little weird.. But I like me anyway.. Now I'm going to eat me a bite or two of chocolate and swing in my swinging chair and sing KUM BAH YA while I contemplate all the weird mysteries of life.. Have a wonderfully weird Wednesday..
Patsy