Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Welcome to Wednesday and it's Weirdness!

"For the first time, the weird and the stupid and the coarse are becoming our cultural norms, even our cultural ideal. "
~ Carl Bernstein

"I go through major crises every few months, but then I have great peaks of belief and creativity. I'm a weird kind of animal. " ~ Brian May

"I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together." ~ Jeff Foxworthy

Hi and welcome to my Wednesday. It was pretty normal for a Wednesday. I guess Y'all know by now that I'm just weird. Wednesdays are always the perfect day for weird. Smack in the middle of the week.. Not quiet as bad as Mondays and not nearly as great as Friday! I did have one great piece of news early this morning.. GO!! ME!! I finally graduated from the on-line Haiku class!! GO!! ME again!!! And the Weird thing was.. I only had to do this last assignment ONCE! Every single other one I have had to write then re-write then maybe re-word because he didn't like a word.. So how weird is it that I only had to do this one ONCE?? Super weird is what! Weirder than that? Yes! it gets weirder than that.. The instructor recommends that I take the Advanced study of Haiku because I am " Brilliant and truly talented!" Wow.. I was honored.. But I'm no where near weird enough to sign up for that class. It has taken me way to long and way to many re-writes to graduate from the first one! I can't decide rather it was just me being weird or rather that whole class was weird! Of course some folks think most Haiku is weird.. OK on to the truly weird questions for this week!

Have you ever left a restaurant without paying the bill?~ Well does it make me weird if I say I have wanted to? In fact a few times I have really wanted to walk out and not pay for the food because the service was so bad.. Once we had a drunk or drugged but either way weird waitress come running to our table and ask us "WHO HOLLERED FOR POPCORN?" we all looked at each other and said "No One!" She went away and in a few minutes was back leaning over the Table and whispering in my ear... " Crazy Bitch don't you holler for POPCORN not nerry nother time!" When she walked off I told Dave what she said and then with a smile here she comes with His and all of the kids a steaming plate of food..Nothing at all for me! She pranced off back to the kitchen as if we were all eating.. I didn't even have a glass of tea.. Then I noticed her at the bar whispering to several men and they turned and gave me weird looks.. One even said he had a cure for weirdo's like that one over there in the corner.. I glanced around just to make sure I really was the weirdo in the corner! I was!!! Finally she came over and asked Dave... weirdly ignoring me as if I wasn't there.. if everything was fine.. He told her that his food was OK and the kids nodded to say theirs was too.. He asked where my food was being that they were almost through eating.. She said "who's food?" .. I pinched me to be sure I was real.. I pinched Dave so he would know I was real.. Finally I told him "go pay for what Y'all ate and lets get out of here" .. I was really feeling weird by then.. As we walked across the parking lot talking she came running out the door like a wild woman screaming and cussing at us and asked if I needed to borrow her pen.. without even looking up I answered "no thanks I have the number memorized" ... I guess she could read lips and saw me saying I would call the main office.. That was the weirdest restaurant experience I ever had.. But Dave paid for the food and in fact even paid for the food I had ordered but didn't eat.. We had another weird night in the very same place a few years later with a different waitress.. Call me weird but I don't eat there any more! They hire weirdo's!

Have you ever taken your clothes off for money? ~ Oh I can just see the weird frowns on my families and friends faces if I said .."WHY Sure I stripped.. Made pretty good at it too.."~ Hahahahahha.~ That would be way to weird... I did go with another woman once though to check out a big beautiful woman club and was shocked to find out it was a strip club that catered to men who like large bodied women.. She and I were even offered jobs by the owner.. he said we each needed to gain a few pounds though.. It was so weird seeing the big girls bump and twist around..I thought the whole thing was so weird.. I had always felt fat and I kid you not these women Were LARGE!!! just Imagine a Large woman dancing and twisting with a pole and almost no clothes.. SEE! I told you it was weird!!! . NO! I have never taken my clothes off for money...I guess I could try to get Dave to give me a few dollars the next time he's home when I go to take a bath??! ( I won't think you're weird if you laugh at this.. I did!)

3:~On a scale of 1 to 10, how gullible of a person would you say you are?~ You're kidding right? Or you really don't know me.. or You are just plain weird.. You can't fool an old Fool and I am an old fool! Were you planning on tricking me out of my money? That would be weird since I don't have any... Many people have thought they had me fooled.. Many have given it their very best shot.. a few (very few!) Have even come close.. But I am a suspicious person.. I always expect the weird and unexpected to jump out at any time.. I am always on the alert. I am not gullible.. I am weird like that. I believe nothing I hear and only half of what I see..Proof is what I wait for.. I have though let people.. especially my kids.. think they had this old weird lady fooled.. It is always interesting, as well as delightfully weird, to see just how far a person will go when they try their best to fool an old fool! Remember .. you can't dog a dog; trick a trickster; nor fool an old fool!

Do you ever wish you were someone else? ~ I guess there have been times in my life that I didn't want to be me.. I think we have all had those weird "IT SUCKS TO BE ME!!" days. I have had way more that what I think is my share of those weird days. At the time I never thought about wishing to be any one else..Who could I have been? I have wished to have a little more money at times.. I have wished my children weren't sick or wished I wasn't single ( Dave fixed that wish!!!) I wonder who I should have wished to be.. I wouldn't wish to be anyone that didn't have my kids and my weird talents.. I don't know anyone at all like me.. well actually I do know one other person a little like me.. she is crazy as I am.. But she doesn't have my kids or my weird talents.. her life has been filled with the it sucks to be me days too.. I guess I'm weird but I'll just be grateful that not all days suck to be me and move on to another weird question!!

5:)~How often, on average, do you find yourself thinking about sex per day?~ Call me weird but I knew somehow y'all would sneak a sex question in here.. Is that all you think about? How do you (whoever you are weirdo!) have time to make up questions for the rest of us when all you think about is our sex lives.. Is your own life so boring? Are you having one of those ..IT SUCKS TO BE YOU!.. days? I will tell you that yes I think about sex.. I have fond memories of sex even.. I am a normal woman.. It would be weird if sex didn't cross my mind.. I just don't let it sit and rest there..Now is one of those times I should wish to be someone else! Why do you need to know about how often I think of sex? Are you a weirdo? Are you making a documentary about the sex lives and thoughts of old fools?? NO?? well when you are call me and I'll star in it.. until then.. I think about sex sometimes.. I have never counted how many times a day or how many days apart or any of those things.. I'm weird.. that's my story and I'm sticking to it..

6:)~ Did your parents know when you became sexually active? How did they find out? ~ I have got to tell you that I am laughing at this weird question.. I got married the first time when I was 16 years old.. I was not allowed to date other than to ride to Church with him and even then we usually had one of the younger siblings along.. so Yea.. I'm pretty sure My parents knew I had become sexually active.... As for how they found out.. they were at my wedding..They had eight kids.. they were aware of sex or I'm almost sure they were!!!! I'll even go out on a limb and say that they figured I would have sex on my wedding night and maybe even a few times after that.. Times were different back then.. People were old fashioned... Kids today call us weird.. Back then most young people didn't become sexually active.. they became Married.. and if they did get the two confused and became the wrong one first.. then down came the shot gun and someone had a shot gun wedding.. The old people didn't talk about sex to us kids.. Our family Doctor asked me if I knew what I was supposed to do when I got married.. I said.." yes Sir.. I'm supposed to cook and keep a clean house!.. I'll do my best to be a good wife!" I find it weird now but he didn't tell me any different.. maybe next time I see him I'll kick him in his wrinkled old butt! Weird old fart had to know I didn't have a clue.. Man times have changed.. I guess it's weird just how much things have changed even since I was a teen...Needless to say.. I wasn't quiet so gullible the second (and final!!!) time I got married.. I do still cook and keep a relatively clean house though..

Finally I am done with the weird questions for tonight.. They weren't too bad.. or maybe it's just that I am getting weirder myself from answering the weird questions.. I am still chuckling about taking my clothes off for money and the very idea of me being gullible.. Those two things would be just too weird even for me! Hopefully you will survive all the weird days in this world we live in today.. Where weird has become boring and wacky has become the norm! Have a great day!


Big Time said...

You do get weird questions.....

Pblacksaw said...

Big Time~ I do seem to get weird questions.. I reckon that's why they call it weird Wednesday... I have to wonder who makes them up.. Keep in mind that I skip the very weirdest ones! I am glad to see you back! I have missed your comments!.. Love ya!

PJ said...

where the heck do you get these question, lol? your restaurant experience is totally weird! kind of like twilight zone weird. that woman must have been on something and seeing things. i can't believe that you would actually give that place a second chance...hehehe

you should do a little strip dance for dave, lol, go get a bundle of single bills and have him start tucking them. whoo hoo!

i like to think that i am not too gullible, but i think sometimes i can be.

i don't think i have ever wished i was someone else. kind of like you, i have had the "it sucks to be me right now" days. i don't like to let those hang around too long.

as time goes by, i think about sex less and less. i used to think about it ALL the time, but now, not a lot.

you do find some weird questions patsy, and they always get a smile, chuckle, laugh, out of me.

have a great weekend my friend!