"When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other. " -- Rita Rudner
"Sacred cows make the best hamburger." -- Mark Twain
"Don't worry about temptation--as you grow older, it starts avoiding you." -- Old Farmer's Almanac
Welcome to another Weird Question Wednesday on my blog.. I have a new what ever that picture thing is called.. It is a button? or a bullet?.. anyway you know what I mean unless you are just weird.. I made it myself.. I used a paint program.. I am not very good at drawing on here though.. I am learning new things.. I guess it is weird but I can still learn stuff and I'm gonna be fifty next month... See you can teach an old dog new tricks.. I don't want to learn any weird stuff though.. I am way to weird already... I made it simple like me.. but all in all for a weird old lady I didn't do half bad.. you know.. I wonder if you do something not half bad.. does that mean it really is Half bad?? On to the weird questions for tonight..
1~} Have you raised children? Do you think your parenting skills were top notch ; not half bad; or could have used a little help from Dr Phil? Now See!.. you have already made me mad.. I have raised kids.. I raised hers and his and theirs and mine and ours and everyone Else's too.. I raised neighborhood kids.. trailer park kids.. and stragglers who followed my kids home... some had a crisis and the loss of a parent.. some were left till other arrangements could be made.. some a parent dropped off and didn't come back.. I still help raise Mason and a few others to boot.. I won't go as far as to say that I was top notch.. I didn't have money a lot of times.. we ate what he could afford.. that meant fast food only when something special was going on.. I sewed stuff and my kids wore it.. they looked good and I saved a few bucks.. then they got about half grown and got too weird for hand made clothes.. I didn't see everything the kids in my care did.. sometimes it's better to let a few little things slip by your eagle eye... but endangering a person was good for a long sit on the kitchen step..and a spanking if you got sassy about it..I'd say I did OK.. I dislike Dr Phil.. I have never liked him.. he decides before he hears the whole story what he thinks the truth is.. I have watched him a few times argue with a parent when they simply had a bad kid.. he has some weird people on his show.. he's as bad as Jerry Springer in some ways.... is he any less weird because Oprah likes him?.. I know he is all the rage.. call me weird.. he is weirder than I am..
2~} Someone is driving in front of you erratically and slowing you down...you see that they are talking on a cell phone and checking themselves out in the mirror. The other lane is blocked ..you can not go around them. What do you do?? I am a weirdo.. did you forget that? I will lay down on the horn and blast it in long beeps till they have peed in their pants and dropped that infernal cell phone.. I will roll my window down and scream at them to get off that phone and OUT of MY WAY!.. I am really weird about driving.. when you drive you should do NOTHING else.. don't be weird.. you are inviting an accident.. anyway you looked in the mirror before you left home.. didn't you?.. look again after you drive!! I hate cell phones in the car.. I get ticked off at Dave when he texts the kids when they are driving.. I even made him watch one of those creepy texting while driving warnings on You Tube!! I reckon people everywhere will know I am weird ... I do know that scaring a weirdo who is already on the phone and looking at them self is dangerous.. But shoot they are asking for an accident maybe It will scare some sense into them..
3~} What are the top 3 things you'd like to do before you leave this world? Wow are you setting up my bucket list?.. don't folks do that when they know they are gonna die?.. do you know something I don't?.. Are you weird enough to finance my three things??.. In no particular order.. (I have always wanted to say that.. you know like.. the winners are in no particular order...) Ok.. I was being weird again.. 1:- walk on the great wall of China...2:- fly away for a honeymoon on an island with Dave..( we are old and weird but we ain't dead yet.. yes we still honeymoon!) 3:-swim naked in a hot spring.. I am well aware that 3 is weird.. you asked.. I answered.. so don't get cranky about the weird truth..
4~} Do you ever read poetry?..Nah.. I am weird... I write it ...but I don't read it...
5~} Hipsters, thongs or granny panties? Weird old weirdo you!!... next you will want to know what color drawers I am wearing.. actually I have some of all three..most women do.. we have all colors too.. I wouldn't want to wear them tall drawers.. ( y'all call them granny panties..) with low rider pants would I?.. I do have low pants.. I also have some of the rubber band drawers y'all call a thong.. mine is red.. My Mama even had some with black fringe back in the day! They just called them G strings back then.. Way back in the weird day.. See what you did.. I almost got too weird for my own self!.. if I had to choose only one kind I'd take hipsters..
6~} What would you do with a drunken sailor? Wow.. Dave was in the Navy once upon a time.. does that make him a sailor?.. yea?.. well if he comes in after having a few beers with the guys after work.. does that possibly make him drunken?.. yea? I would kick his butt to here and there and way down yonder and back again.. if he drove drunk.. Now if he got drunken here at home or at a hotel where we didn't have to drive.. I'll even go way out on a weird limb and say I am going to drive... this is one of those weird sexual sneaking up on you questions isn't it?... I would help my drunken sailor to bed.. that's all you need to know.. any more and I'll have to kill you for knowing all of my weird secrets...
I know this is a little different than my older Wednesday blogs.. I am still using a borrowed computer.. All my widgets and buttons and quotes and weird stuff was on my other one.. I should have my own soon.. I could put stuff on this one.. Emily told me I could.. Dave says I'm just being weird.. I just hate to put anything on here and then have to download .. upload .. sideways load.. stuff on to what ever I finally get.. I do like my weird question button though..I really do like this little laptop.. I have a feeling going back to a regular computer is going to be weird!!! Have a great weird Wednesday!