Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Time to get a little Weird.
"The person of the house gave a weird little laugh" ~Charles Dickens
"There is a weird power in a spoken word" ~Joseph Conrad
"The probability of meeting someone you know increases greatly when you are out with someone you do not want to be seen with." ~weird facts
1-]- In England- Those wishing to use a television must apply for a license. ~ This would not be a problem for me.. I don't think I would bother to apply.. it is weird though.. the idea that they want you to fill out an application.. what kind of weird questions are on there.. I personally think this is some weird way for the government to make some extra money.. I mean it is really a weird concept.. I wonder if they have a TV usage inspector? Wouldn't it be weird to be charged for watching TV without a license...can't you just here big Willy the cell mate laugh when you tell him to leave you alone you were watching Television without a license
2-]- In Florida- If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. ~ How weird is this law? The last time I was in Florida it was filled with wrinkled old retired people.. Are they driving their elephants to the shopping mall where they do their mall walking exercises.. Another law designed to make money.. I say if some old geezer has brass enough to ride his elephant uptown.. let him tie it where ever he wants too... next thing you know they will want you to carry poop scoops and baggies for your elephant too.. On the other hand I might be weird enough to go to Florida some day and I would be ticked off if I couldn't find a parking space for elephants tied to all the parking meters.. would it be too weird if I squeezed in there between the elephant and the curb.. then they could pay for my parking..
3-]-In Louisiana-It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
~ OK how many times has this weird thing occurred? Did some weirdo have to prove he was the man by shooting the teller with the weird water pistol he just robbed her with.. I promise you that that weird thing would only happen to me once.. I would jump on that weirdo and kick his butt into the middle of next week.. he wouldn't want to rob any more banks with a water gun.. I am getting mad just thinking bout it.. where is that weirdo?.. I'll kick his but right now! Then I'll take him over to Miami and tie him right behind my elephant...
1~] ~ Do you remember your first phone number? Have you called it recently?- This is weird and even weirder that I remember our old phone number from when I was a child.. it was 259-5677.. I called it tonight.. after I read the questions.. I got some weird old guy that kept saying I was Sheena.. and that I should quit playing.. I almost got weird right back and play along with him.. But then he started talking about weird stuff and I hung up on him.. I am glad I have a private number.. wouldn't it be weird for some old guy to start calling me all the time?
2~] ~We go to an ice cream shop for a dish of ice cream . You are buying and I say "surprise me"... what kind of ice cream am I going to get? ~This is weird because this very thing happened to me in New Mexico.. They called it gelato but it seemed like ice cream to me.. I told Anthony to surprise me.. and he brought me a small dish of something that looked like Strawberry Ice cream.. I tasted it and it was wonderful.. sweet and full of strawberries.. then the heat hit my tongue and I took a gulp of my hot coffee to cool it down.. my weird son had bought me strawberry habanero gelato.. I loved it.. every time we went there I ordered it again.. the first bite was weird because I wasn't expecting the heat.. But I actually love hot food and weird as it may sound hot ice cream is good! On the other hand.. I would never be weird and get that for you.. I'd get you vanilla if you didn't say what you wanted..
3~] ~ With Halloween on the way a bunch of us are going to spend the night at a reportedly haunted location, are you going with us?~ Who told you this place was haunted?..someone I know or just some weirdo?... is it a bridge or a rail road track with a weird story about flashing your lights and seeing a headless person? Those weird stories aren't real.. Is it a house with weird sounds and sparkling spirits that move around in the darkness? Sure I'll go.. I'm not afraid of boogers.. In fact for some weird reason ghosts like me.. they open and close doors at my house all the time.. they ring wind chimes that have no breeze anywhere around them.. Maybe with a weirdo like me around the boogers really will come out so that all you people can get a look at them too.. But don't blame me when you get the bejesus scared out of you.. You're gonna feel weird riding home with shyster in your pants.. ( My daddy rarely cursed.. shyster was his word..
I don't think you have to be very weird to know what it means..)
4~]~ Has anyone ever wrote your name in a phone booth to call for a good time? Was it you? ~ No One ever called me for a good time.. well, there was this one guy.. but that was so long ago I almost forget his name.. he was a weirdo anyway.. It is weird though that someone once wrote my oldest sisters name in a phone booth up town and guys started calling her saying weird stuff.. she being the Church choir director didn't even understand what they were saying at first.. then she got all upset and wrote mama a note telling her what the man had said.. mama was weird too and said that Sis should tell them to call her mama.. I bet that would have been a weird phone call for the poor guy.. My Mom would have told him off.. I did write my own name on a bathroom wall at the beach one time when I was about fourteen.. If I got any weird calls Mama or Daddy answered the phone and since I didn't get a whipping I'm gonna say no weirdo's called.. It was only later that I realized that in order to be called I should have written it in the men's room... Maybe I can still be weird and have Dave write it for me next time we go to the beach.. Maybe I'll be really weird and give them YOUR number?!
5-]~Have you ever gotten a wrong number.. sexual toned..phone call and ended up talking to the person for longer than 5 minutes before you confessed that they had the wrong number? ~What is this.. weird phone calling night? I guess you could say that tonight when I got weird and called my old number was a wrong number.. and he sure was getting frisky thinking I was Sheena.. He kept saying I should quit playing like I didn't know what he liked.. That was weird.. he wanted to know who was my Daddy.. and a few other weird things.. then he said when Sheena got home Daddy was gonna spank her for being naughty and pretending she wasn't her.. that was about ten minutes into the conversation.. so yea I reckon I have talked more than five minutes to a weirdo with a wrong number.. What really makes it weird.. is that I told him that was my phone number when I was a kid... I just wondered if someone had it today..
He immediately got all weird and wild and said.. "Sheena Daddy ain't gonna play no weird games now baby.. you know what I like... go on and say it to me baby.." Yea It was weird.. I won't ever be calling that number again.. it makes me feel weird and nasty just thinking about it..
That's all of the weird questions for tonight.. I feel kinda weird that there wasn't a real sexual question in this lot.. But they were all weird as always.. Have a great weird Wednesday!